21 December 2008

Bored & Extremely Dangerous (Hamilton on a Saturday night)

Yesterday morning when 2/70 emptied out (Rex to go kitesurfing, Sara to help him launch the kite and Sam to watch/run around on the beach) I immediately felt lonely to the extent where I drove home. I had big plans: to visit Kirby, Ritchie, Libby, Becky, pick a bone with Donny...

Of course, due to the fact that to most of these people I'm an "option" rather than a "priority", I haven't seen any of them. Instead, I spent the afternoon with my mum, and went she went to work at 5pm, I went to bed. At about 8:30pm I got up and went about going out to buy some McDonald's for dinner. Yeah, I know.

For whatever reason, I pulled out of the McDonald's exit and felt an uncontrollable urge to go and let down Donny's tyres. I knew where he had plans to be for the night, so I drove there, in a state of derangement (of course, this is retrospective). When I arrived, I felt relieved for him that he wasn't there. I know that had I seen his car, I would have been not only letting down the tyres, but stealing the valve stops. Just to make things that much more difficult.

As I mentioned, he wasn't there, so I drove away quickly and instead went to his house. He wasn't there either, and by this stage I realised how ridiculous I was being, so I drove home and spent the evening watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" - on Emma's recommendation. Kind of fitting, considering the circumstances.

I wish I could say I knew what drives me to plan out such malicious acts on someone I claim is "The One". If I knew what the problem was, maybe I could solve it and as such curb my stupid behaviour. But I don't, and I hope that one day soon, someone will. I don't want to be driving around this place like I have a deathwish, hoping in the first instance that I'll find his car, innocently parked somewhere so that I can unleash my unfounded rage upon it, and then in the second instance, hoping that in fact he's somewhere safe, away from harm. It's not normal.

I admit that my plans tonight are not much different. After visiting Danielle, I plan to scour Victoria Street for the University of Waikato billboard featuring Donny and deface it. If it hasn't already been done so, anyway. Did the school check this guy's grades before they decided he was a good ambassador for them? Apparently not, since if they had, they would have discovered that he's a fourth year student still taking second year papers because he's been consistently failing them due to lack of willpower and, well - intelligence. It's not that I think he's stupid, he is absolutely not. He is just in the wrong degree and too much of a fucking bullock head to admit it. Anyway, they chose him because he's a mildly attractive guy of Indian descent, and it makes his school look like it's welcoming of all sorts of people. Whatever.

When he stops calling me at stupid hours of the night, maybe I'll stop my erratic behaviour. Maybe. But tonight I feel like I'm justified. You don't call me at 2am and not expect your pretty billboard to get wrecked, jerk.

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