10 July 2009

Panic! At The Mall

Maybe in my old age I'm becoming more easily offended, but after a trip to the mall (Westfield Shore City, just FYI) today I'm becoming more inclined to stay in my house, buy a cat, and get even more bitter than I am now.

Firstly, when I entered the mall, I walked past three emo boys - white, ginger-haired and about fifteen years old. One of them was wearing hot pink skinny jeans and silver cowboy boots, where his friends wore less retarded, but still attention-seeking outfits. What was their game? Besides looking like complete retards, they gave ME dirty looks (I was in a tracksuit, having just come from the pool). If your child is a fifteen-year-old ginger emo, please, keep them indoors.

This group was followed by another group of three - vogue Asians. I much preferred the latter.

Just when I was getting over my disgust, I saw the window displays at Max - "Max Love Not War". How original. It featured two average-looking, but skinny girls, and an even MORE average-looking boy (I would even go so far to say as he was UGLY) wearing the most enormous wire-rimmed glasses I've ever seen. Oh, and he was naked. NAKED. Sure, his special place was judiciously covered with the corner of a white sheet, but did he REALLY need to be naked?! Really? Okay, so I get that Max don't do men's clothing, but come on! God forbid someone should be carrying their four-year-old child past that store and have to explain why there is a naked man in the window to their little one. I'm disgusted.


I began to feel a sense of urgency to complete my mall trip, so I made a beeline for the exit. Not before, however, noticing a white trash mommy at Mister Minit (a keycutting parlour) coughing, open-mouthed, and sounding like she was about to cough up a little puppy. Did I mention she was coughing right into the face of her four-year-old kid, and the shopkeeper.
"Um, cover your mouth." He suggested gently. She looked repulsed, and then descended into a tirade of abuse I didn't care to linger any longer to listen to.

Seriously, yuk. Everything that happened today at the mall (past my delicious juice, so cheers Tank) was so wrong. This is why people become hermits!


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