Turns out we had someone in common. She was upset about it, I thought it was all a bit blown out of proportion. To be fair, how many guys have I declared my love for, via my blog? Let's see.
1. Donny. If anyone should be worried about stalking tendencies, it should be him, right? I mean, I used to drive past his house late at night. And he lives in a cul-de-sac.
2. Nayuha. Not quite stalky stalky, but that's only because we haven't had one of those inevitable relationship-souring moments (a punch in the face, maybe?). Fear not, readers. It's going to happen, one day.
3. Ryohei Komori. Don't even know the guy, but after seeing his photo, announced him to be my future husband. Stalking at its finest, enabled by the endearing Taylor Phinney.
4. Chris aka Ferry Guy aka Mr Cannondale/Pinarello. Do you guys REMEMBER that? Me sitting on the ferry, texting away after looking at his tshirt, getting people to trace him online? Google Mapping his place of work?
5. Yuichi Hosoda. Again, don't know him. Added him on Facebook, even went so far to say "I'll be going home with him in seven nights' time." Really?
6. Curtis. Sure, I don't stalk him, or love him, or anything... but the fact that I made mention of the fact that we were in bed while watching Harry Potter drew criticism from our crazy friend. Really? Because I BET you've never been in bed with our mutual friend... that would be almost criminal.
You see? There's six guys right there that I've mentioned, ad nauseum, on my blog at one time or another. Do not think, crazy girl, that your boyfriend is any sort of special case. He really isn't. If you need me to go on, I could mention that Punjabi guy I eyesex'd at Spotlight in Hamilton, my old German flatmate Chris, even Terenzo, or my childhood crush Jason Smith (I found his address in the phone book when I was seven years old and biked to his house). NOT A SPECIAL CASE.
Make no mistake, I did follow the guy in question home from the gym once, but not so closely that he noticed, and that I couldn't pass off our uncannily similar journeys home as visiting friends in the area. But that's hardly making him an elaborate birthday card, then having a breakdown the night before his birthday, after having stolen his neighbour's recycling bin a few months earlier, now is it? It's not tracking down his flight number and considering an airport rendezvous upon his return from India, is it? You want special case? Donny is a special case. If Donny had a girlfriend that emailed me abuse, I could probably understand it.
Luckily for me, Donny is incapable of keeping a girlfriend, so for now I have nothing to worry about. One only hopes that when he does manage to hold someone down, either it's me, or it's someone that doesn't mercilessly trawl the internet for my presence. And this girl calls me the stalker. Hmmm...