5 August 2009

Styloid Process

It sounds WAY cooler than what it is.

I have a styloid process on my toe, and have done for the last... many years. It's really gross, and I probably shouldn't talk about it publicly, but whatevvs, right? I've read worse.

Yesterday I went to visit Andrew, on whom I have a teeny tiny crush (he has a dalmation!), who routinely performs minor "surgeries" on my toe. Until this morning I believed I was some sort of special case, a beautiful freak of nature, if you will - because of my styloid process (did I also believe that the name "Styloid Process" was invented by Andrew simply for me? Probably. That sounds like the kind of egotistical conclusion I would come to, left to my own devices). Turns out I'm not. I checked it out on Wikipedia, and of course, every man and his dog have styloid processes of the fifth metatarsal.

I'm disappointed.

I'm also feeling a little bit relieved though. Some people get them on their elbows. ELBOWS! Can you imagine? Gross.

My personal favourite part of the surgery was when Andrew attacked me with silver bauxite. That stuff is na-ha-ha-asty. It's supposed to close up the wound and prevent, to some extent, the process returning, but all it really does is make me want to kick him in the face. It also makes me incapable of running for the following twenty-four hours. Hence my being at home at 8:30am. Never mind though.

Peace, love, and styloid processes. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

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