14 August 2009

In Her World, "Yes" Means "No".

I get told often that I'm softly spoken. Probably you won't believe this if
a) you've lived with me
b) you've known me longer than a day
c)you've sat next to me in traffic lights while I sing along to Lady Gaga

However, apart from that I guess maybe I am. A little bit. But I do speak fairly good English (I was born there after all, and even though parts of my childhood were spent speaking various Uzbekistani dialects, I consider English to be my main language) and as such, usually when I hit up drive-thru windows in New Zealand, my orders are taken without a hitch.

This was not the case today. I went to a Burger King and asked for a TenderCrisp.
"A what?"
"A TenderCrisp."
"Can you say that again, and speak up?"
"A. Tender. Crisp."
"Okay, so that's a Hawaiian Chicken meal? You want to upsize?"
"No, I don't. What? Hawaiian? Where did you get that from? I want a TenderCrisp. TenderCriiisp!" (yes, I did actually elongate the "iiii" in "crisp".)
"A what? You don't want a Hawaiian?"
"Then what do you want? Can you speak up?" Though, to be fair, I do wonder how increasing the volume is going to affect this person's obviously retarded ability to differentiate between words.
"TenderCrisp! T E N D E R C R I S P!"
"Okay, okay. I don't need a spelling test. Can you just drive up to the second window and place your order there?" No offense, but it sounded to me like she DID need a spelling lesson. Good lord!

Then I got unnecessarily angry, drove over a flower bed to an alternative exit, and drove to a McDonald's instead.

There, my order was understood first time, and it was delicious.

It's a shame though. I do like Burger King. But I am totally never going back there.

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