Twit-dict

I've been a Twitter user since December 20, 2008. My first-ever post reads as follows:
"attempting to get out bed for another drive to cowtown"


Since then, my tweets have ranged from mildly entertaining, to downright depressing. Here are some of my personal favourites.


"eww, eye disease" - 9:12pm, April 4th
"I'm sick of SH1, it's always dark, foggy, rainy or 3am." - 5:41pm, April 20th
"I LOVE MY LIFE. In the way that I don't." - 10:57am, April 27th
"drinking cold hot chocolate. wait, if it's cold, does it just become cold chocolate? either way... wish it was still hot" - 6:38pm, June 18th
"@avantiplus plus cheers. about to throw current saddle into pit of hellfire" 6:29pm, June 27th
"going out for a casual drive in what might be a category 1 storm: not the best decision i've ever made" - 11:25pm, June 28th
"ahhh so freezing. never getting up before 6am again! until tomorrow, presumably." - 7:27am, July 2nd
"my back is soooo broken." - 8:52am, July 10th
"going back to sleep. i feel like a bike with no wheels." - 2:32pm, July 30th
"omg guys, did @Gary_Fisher just say LOL? love it" - 11:45pm, August 18th
"damn, i thought it said "china unicorn" on the trending topics. disappointed :(" - 11:34pm, August 28th
"Hello, Saturday. So far I haven't used you well. But it is only 8am so I have more plans for the rest of you. Love, Mim." - 8:10am, August 29th
"car: broken. bike: on its way out. me: still hanging on by a thread. yusss." - 4:10pm, September 2nd
"dear ticket website, you suck, all i want is to buy my bad religion ticket." - 5:53pm, September 16th
"workout + big mac = yessss" - 2:18pm, September 21st
"its official. the month of november is trying to ruin my life." - 11:09pm, September 23rd
"standing on an iPod jack: not recommended." - 5:30pm, September 27th
"he's not a man. he's a scrap of indian trash someone found in a pile in mumbai and tried to pass off as a person." - 5:32pm, October 2nd
"MIRIAM WINS" - 1:15pm, October 5th
"#beatbeingbasic? how? by being acidic?" - 4:58pm, October 19th
"my 23-year-old ex-boyfriend who has the IQ of my dog just told me he is pursuing a 34-year-old woman with a 14-year-old son." - 9:38pm, October 23rd
"met a guy from Dubai last night. talked to him for ten minutes and then he introduced me to his friends as his girlfriend. wtf." - 3:30pm, November 1st
"i am so tired. i don't know what part of my brain decided that 3 hours of sleep after 8 hours of drinking was sufficient." - 3:34pm, November 1st
"i just had a very uncomfortable nap on the floor of the UC library" - 2pm, December 1st
"i'm at uni without a pen again. it could be argued that i suck at life." - 11:58am, December 2nd
"haha, there's nothing like watching fashiontv to make me feel like a fat bitch. love it." - 4:36pm, December 8th
"my eyeball is not having a good day." - 2:47pm, December 26th
"hey, good idea willowbank, waterblast the apartments at 9:45pm! it's not like i wanted to sleep or anything." - 9:46pm, January 7th
"run, long-haired japanese man, run." - 4:55pm, January 9th
"afternoon activities: sit next to indian boy in central lib. become obsessed with him and stalk his fb. discover he is a fan of 123 pages. i need a new hobby." - 7:03pm, January 15th
"lost my pants... but found my shoe! a successful afternoon." - 7:30pm, January 15th
"well, our smoke alarm works. and our house smells like burnt pizza." - 6:13pm, January 17th
"i just drank a bottle of four-day-old apple juice. i wonder if i'll die." - 9:29pm, January 18th
"what can i say? i'm really just a fifteen-year-old punjabi girl at heart." - 11pm, January 25th

... Right.

So I have a few more favourites than expected.

I haven't been to sleep yet...