And The Rest

Eyes: Eyeshadow, Mascara, Eyeliner, Eyebrow Enhancer

Eyeshadow: This is a toughie, because I'm obsessed with the Napoleon Perdis Prismatic Eye Shadow Quad in #6, but it's just not really an everyday combination. #13 is more user-friendly, and I cannot rave enough about the staying power of these shades. I've said it before and I'll say it again - Napoleon is hugely underrated as a cosmetics house. Ridiculously overpriced favourite: Dior 5-Colour Eyeshadow. If you want to buy it for me as a birthday gift, please do.

Mascara: As you may well know, mascara is my life. And I've had many loves. Napoleon's Long Black, L'Oreal Telescopic, Smashbox Bionic... I feel that this year I finally met my match in Lancome Cils Design Pro, which I've mentioned before on many an occasion. Highly commended mascaras include Imju Fiberwig (I managed to acquire some this year: it's fantastic), the aforementioned Long Black and DiorShow Iconic.

Eyeliner: In the past year, I've come to understand the allure of eyeliner, and what a personal thing it is for many women. Grace, for example, stands by the motto that "leaving the house without lined waterlines is a no-no." No one formula suits everyone, and at the same time, everyone needs both a cake or liquid eyeliner, as well as a kohl or pencil liner (as well as some eyeshadow and a good angle brush to finish it off). Napoleon Perdis makes Cake Eyeliner like a dream, use it with their Sealer for all-day perfection. MAC Technakohl is my pick for a pencil-styled liner - I have it in Smoothblue and Full Of Fuschias. Black eyeliner should be a staple product, especially if you're Indian. An Indian woman without her kohl is not an Indian woman at all...

Eyebrow Enhancer: I'm sticking with Smashbox Brow Tech. Apply it with a Smashbox Angle Brow Brush (#12) for perfection.

Lips: Lip Gloss, Lip Liner, Lipstick
Lip Gloss: When I was at makeup school, tutors advised us not to spend a lot of money on lip glosses. They're the most used, lost, and lended-out product of the modern makeup bag, so the theory makes sense. It's so difficult though, because the best cosmetic houses make the most gorgeous glosses! My absolute favourite is Chanel Levres Scintillantes, which retails in New Zealand for $51. My favourite trick: buying as many as my bag will hold in duty free stores when travelling. Not really a secret, but definitely good advice for the luxury lip gloss fiend. Others of note: Chanel Aqualumiere Gloss, Lancome Juicy Tube, MAC Lipglass.

Lip Liner: As a general rule, I swear by MAC Lip Pencil as my never-fail. You'd be surprised though: SRA (where I trained) sell generic brand lip pencils - my favourite shade is Strawberry Rose - that work a treat, and provide lasting results. Bloom also make quality lip pencils. My best advice for lip liner? Use it. You'll be surprised at the difference it makes.

Lipstick: I've become a lipstick queen. When I arrived at SRA, I hated lipstick to the extent that I left it completely out of my last year's makeup recommendations list. This year, I don't even know where to start. In terms of colour, my personal go-to is surprising - Chi Chi Trolley Dolly. Applied over concealed, powdered and lined lips, it's lasted through nights of drinking, eating, kissing and still required scrubbing off with a toothbrush at 4am. Don't be fooled by its inherent tackiness. If you know how to use a lipstick, it will serve you well. Chanel Hydrabase Rouge gets my vote across the board - formula, colour, user-friendliness, staying power. I am, and forever will be, a sucker for MAC Lipstick in Ruby Woo. Lipsticks I'm dying to try: NARS Lipstick, and Make Up For Ever Lipstick. Gimme gimme gimme!

Cheeks: Blush, Bronzer

Blush: I feel like I don't even need to put this category in, because I so frequently rave about NARS Blush in Orgasm that it writes itself. So there you have it. MAC Mineralize SkinFinish Trio (a now discontinued limited edition, so I feel quite privileged to own it) gave it a run for its money this year, but it comes out on top, every time. You just can't beat that J Lo glow.

Bronzer: This year I've become a fan of Natio Pressed Powder Bronzer. It's the perfect colour, it blends like a dream, and it's cheap as chips. I understand MAC and NARS also make beautiful bronzers.

Mascara

I've been hanging out for the 2009 Best of Sephora list for some time now, and it just doesn't seem to be surfacing. So, in the tradition of last year, I'm going to put forward my new and improved recommendations.

Here goes...

Complexion: Foundation, Tinted Moisturiser, Primer, Powder, Concealer
Foundation: This honour still belongs to Clinique Superbalanced Makeup. For most of this year, I've been using its closely related cousin, Clinique Even Better Makeup, but Superbalanced is perfecto. Other close calls: Napoleon Perdis China Doll, DiorSkin Sculpt.

Tinted Moisturiser: I take back my last year's comment that tinted moisturiser should be illegal. It was before I discovered MAC Studio Moisture Tint. If you're going for the fresh-faced, "I'm not wearing makeup, I just look fantastic at the gym" look (which I spent several months trying to perfect), Moisture Tint is your new best friend.

Primer: You guessed it: Benefit That Gal. I just can't let this one go. It's like my love affair with Donny, except That Gal treats me well and loves me in return. Other faves: MAC Prep + Prime Skin, Revlon Beyond Natural Smoothing Primer.

Powder: Don't even get me started. Chanel Luminous Matte Powder Makeup is THE greatest product of any sort, ever. I am obsessed. I am just not going to bother recommended anything else. It's not worth it.

Concealer: I'm sticking with my The Body Shop Concealer Pencil. I no longer advocate using the fingers to apply it, however: get yourself a concealer brush (a small, synthetic eyeshadow brush, provided you use it solely for concealer, will work a treat). If there's one brush you absolutely must keep scrupulously clean at all times, it's your concealer brush. No excuses.

Skincare: Face Cleanser, Face Moisturiser, Eye Treatment, Skin Treatment
Cleanser: This year, more than any other year, I've come to realise that happiness prevails over any cleanser for a perfect complexion. If you're stressed, tired, sad, borderline alcoholic, or having a quarter-life crisis, your skin is going to reflect it. Get your life sorted, and your skin will follow. My favourite cleanser this year was YSL Toning and Cleansing Water, but I'm not going to pretend it's something I can afford the upkeep of. For the most part, I get by on Neutrogena Foaming Scrub, and that suits me just fine.

Moisturiser: I need to take a bit of a break here to allow my racing heart to settle down. Again, Chanel comes up trumps. Never in my life have I experienced anything as beautiful and amazing as Chanel Hydramax + Active Serum and its accompanying Active Moisture Cream. It is THE must-have for your "I'm going to take better care of my skin" new year's resolution. It makes sense to invest in the best moisturiser you can - after all, it stays on your skin round the clock.

Eye Treatment: Hmm, well I hate to sound like a broken record but... Chanel Ultra Corrective Eye will actually change your life. Or at the very least, the skin around your eyes. Grace was horrified to find her party-hard lifestyle was catching up with her earlier this year, so she started using samples of this cream from her work, and we were both very pleased with the results. Many makeup artists will tell you that eye cream is unnecessary, but when you see what we do to peoples' eyes for a living, you've got to wonder what these artists are thinking. I'm a convert, and while it's an expensive habit, you can get by on a sample for a surprising amount of time. Use sparingly and reap the results. Trust me.

Skin Treatment: Whatever you do, don't use a cloth mask. Those things are the devil. Dermalogica is the most outrageously priced skincare line on the market, but with good reason. I love their Multivitamin Power Recovery Masque, but I'm equally partial to an inhouse treatment. If you really need, you should splurge. It's not like anyone else is going to do it for you.

Wii's Good Enough For Kosuke

My late (and great) friend, Kirby Sandford was a longtime stalwart of mental preparation for swimming. I met Kirby at a young age, and we were friends until his incredibly sad passing in 2002. He was, like myself, a disciple of the pool - his favourite events were the 50m and 100m freestyle. Before his death (caused by an almost unbelievable melanoma of the brain lining) he garnered national age-group titles in the shorter distance, and was fourth at Opens in the 100m freestyle in 2001.

Kirby took his swimming so seriously it often hurt. One of my more vivid memories of him (aside from the time we turned up at his house with a homemade mannequin in a wheelbarrow) is from a Waikato Championship meet where I sat silently next to him while he rested his head, eyes closed, on the rail of the bleachers and went about visualising the race he was about to swim. Obviously, his temperament training worked wonders - Kirby was one of the Waikato's most successful swimmers and had he not met his end so early and horribly in life I have little doubt that he would have continued on his path in the sport and become a New Zealand representative if not at Commonwealth Games and World Championships then at the Olympics.

He reminded me of the 2000 Olympic women's 100m breaststroke champion, Megan Quann (now Jendrick). She was so finely tuned psychologically that she could visualise a 100m race, while her coach held a stopwatch, and would often swim within 0.05s of her predicted time in a race.

I've just read that my Japanese hero, Kosuke, used a Nintendo Wii to help him mentally prepare for the Beijing Olympics. Yes, really. You can read about it here. He claims the game Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games helped him envision the atmosphere in which he would be competing. Keen? I'm overly keen. Any excuse to play video games, and I'm in.

As far as I'm concerned, he can do no wrong.

Slam

I've had a great number of "favourites" from Lush in my time. At Christmas time, it's Snow Fairy. I go crazy for American Cream conditioner. Sweet Japanese Girl is my ultimate great skin cleanser, and I've been known to max out on Herbalism, and indulge in Cupcake face mask. Ceridwyn's Cauldron would have to be my favourite bathtime treat, closely followed by Waving Not Drowning, and Sakura. Yep, I'm a bigtime Lush addict.

But five years ago, when I first discovered the aromatic store in Northlands Mall, Christchurch, my original favourite product was Slammer shower gel. I bought about twenty bottles of it before it was, much to my heartache and dismay, discontinued. I mourned my favourite shower gel mercilessly, and eventually found solace in Sonic Death Monkey, Whoosh shower jelly, and in times of financial hardship, Johnson's.

Recently I took to following Lush on Twitter. You can do so here. Imagine my surprise and delight when a tweet popped up making mention of Slammer!

OMG! It's back?! I rejoiced.

Turns out, Lush have re-released some of their discontinued products under the "Retro Lush" line. It includes not only Slammer but Sonic Death Monkey, Freeze, Recon for hair, Hot Java bath ballistics, and more. Check it out!

With that, I welcome Slammer back into my world with open arms. Sure, I've had to ship it, via Norwich, from the UK for a pretty penny. But it is definitely more than worth it. I cannot WAIT to shower with that sweet sweet fragrance again.

I'm thrilled.

The Keratoconjunctivitis Sicca Strikes Back

You may or not remember (depending on how long you've been reading, and how much attention you pay to my ramblings) that I was earlier this year diagnosed with an eye condition called Keratoconjunctivitis Sicca. Since then I've become a slave to eyedrops, using them every night, every morning, after every swim, every makeup removal and so on.

This morning I decided to try smoky eyes a la Viviane Orth as seen on Model Diaries the other night on FashionTV. This required not only liquid liner but about ten times as much black eyeshadow as I'm used to. My eyes freaked out. Not just for the period of time I was wearing the makeup, but also during, and after washing it off.

I feel like I might start crying blood.

It's almost unbelievable how much relief eyedrops can provide. Here's my personal favourite.

My already fairly severe eye condition has been exacerbated of late as a result of driving without my glasses. I just don't know where I put them! It's not good.

Recommendations for eyedrops are welcome.

This Would Be More Fantastic If...

Pete Wentz was replaced by D'Arcy Wretzky... other than that, my favourite advertisement this year.

Aubrey, Published

Seems blogging is experiencing something of a resurgence (I had to use that word at some stage, I just LOVE the Carly-Patterson-on-David-Letterman interview when she says "resurgence? I'm sorry, I don't know what that means!" and she's marketed as a straight-A student. Love her!) amongst my crew. First Thom, (well, if I'm being picky then Briar was the first, but I'm fairly certain she hasn't updated her site in more than eighteen months. Curious?) and now the quirky Rhode-Island-cum-Quebec darling that is Aubrey. Visit her here!

Today I have a test worth 40%. It's in 90 minutes and I'm blogging.

Here's Something I Didn't See Coming

Lady Gaga having a yarn with the Queen of England.

I'm still perplexed as to why the latter is worth $20 when Sir Edmund Hillary and Kate Sheppard are worth $5 and $10 respectively.

The Sonic Recreation Of The End Of The World

I read a ridiculous article on nzherald.co.nz today.

"Kiwis reveal travel loves and loathes" was one of the more pointless things I've read in a while, although I guess the title should have given this away. Nevertheless, I read it and now I feel slightly less intelligent for having done so.

Loathes

Passport photos. Well, duh. You're not even allowed to freakin smile in passport photos, a concept I still don't understand. Is this because smiling changes your face to the extent that when you're tired and grumpy on your way home from Los Angeles that you're absolutely incomparable to your photo? As if. And what happens if you're smiling when you go through customs? Then what? Also, front-on photos don't suit anyone. I'm pretty sure Tyra Banks is the only person to have ever looked good in a passport photo, and I'm even doubtful of that. I think she's hideous, and the fact that she was able to book a job during a flight with her passport photo doesn't register with me. Move along.

Virtually every airport in the country "making some changes". Um, flying domestically isn't exactly considered "travel". And secondly, can you imagine if every airport remained the same as it was when built? Upgrades are necessary. Deal with it, you whiners.

Early morning international flights. Oh my god. Just be grateful you're going overseas!! Personally I think early morning domestic flights are worse. I mean, who wants to get up at 5am for a flight to... Invercargill? At least when you get off the international flight, you're going to be somewhere fun like Singapore or San Francisco. An upshot of early morning flights is that you can get some decent plane sleep in (we all know plane sleep is of the greatest quality, after all) and arrive, slightly more acclimated to the local time zone.

Having to take your laptop out going through security. I'll admit, this does seem ridiculous. What's the point of all those x-ray machines if they can't see through our laptop bags? And sure, Stanford may have just developed batteries in the form of paper (OMG, exciting, I know!!) but to be fair, what are the chances of having a weapon of mass destruction in your CD drive? Still, in the grand scheme of things, unzipping a bag a few times for the sake of not crashing into a huge building in Dubai doesn't really seem worth complaining about. I mean, do you ever think about how annoying it is after you walk away from security? Didn't think so.

Having to "fight" for the armrest. How about shut up? Who cares? Armrests are stupid.

The realisation that you only have one sleep left before you go home. Of course, if you're sleeping on a bench in LAX, it's probably a welcome realisation. But even if you're staying in the Ritz, it's still one night you can get trashed in. One more day you don't have to work...

Hotels and beaches that are nothing like their website picture. Unless you're talking about Kleeforks in England, BEACHES ARE AWESOME. How could you ever claim to "loathe" a beach!?

The "bad hair days" caused by humid holiday spots. Chances are, if you're the type of person to complain about something so ridiculous while vacationing, you're also the type of person that packed their GHD and a power adaptor. Problem solved.

Unpacking and finding your toothpaste, moisturiser or shampoo has leaked. Whenever I travel, I buy that kind of shit when I get there, mainly because my personal hygiene collection takes up a good quarter of my baggage allowance, not to mention the fact that much better shampoos and such can be purchased for a fraction of the price at Wal-Mart. Unless you're a complete retard and didn't pack properly anyway, the extent of spilt toothpaste is negligible. So shhh.

Tipping - why is that porter just hanging around? In the States, waitresses get paid $2 an hour. I challenge you to survive on that wage without tips.

A Roof Over My Head

Current obsession: watching the progress of the venues for the London Olympics in 2012.

Here's a computer generated image of what the Aquatics Centre is supposed to look like.

Here it is now. So, they're doing okay. There's still 963 days before the Olympics begin. And shit, at least they've got a roof. Anyone remember Athens? I know I do. I was thrilled to not be a backstroker.

I'll Treat You Better. When I'm Famous.

It seems I cannot go five minutes without hearing that awful Whatcha Say song by Jason Derulo.

What the fuck is his deal?

"I don't want you to leave me / Though you caught me cheating"
and then
"But when I become a star we'll be living so large / I'll do anything for you"

Right, okay. But until then I'm going to cheat on you, and that's going to be alright with you? Okay? Good.

What a horrible, horrible song. And what a loser!

Let's Have Fun: Winter Edition

According to the television channels responsible for broadcasting next year's Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver (and surrounding environs), Canada, it's already time to get excited about the event, which begins two days after my birthday.

It's still 68 days away, but meh. Let's get excited anyway, shall we?

The first time I remember watching a Winter Olympics was in 2002, in Salt Lake City. I've long been obsessed with SLC and the state of Utah, owing largely to my own religious beliefs (I identify with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) and also because I remember reading, as a six-year-old, that a two-year-old named Michelle Funk held the world record for longest submersion in water. She fell into a creek in 1988 and remained underwater for 66 minutes. A revolutionary technique was used in hospital to warm her blood and she survived - she is now a BYU graduate. Last I heard, she was completing her service to the Church.

Haven't heard of me talking about religion before? This is going to sound very self-contradictory, but I'm not religious - I don't believe in God, that Jesus was anything more than a guy who liked to help out people and build stuff before his death, that he was resurrected, that Adam and Eve were from Jackson County, Missouri, or in any sort of afterlife. At all. I had a phase in life where I was a fairly strict Mormon, in part inspired by my uncle who is a missionary and an English professor at BYU. But now we're getting off-topic.

It seems odd to me that I didn't watch a Winter Games until I was sixteen, given my longstanding obsession with the Olympics (I watched my first at age two, in 1988), especially as I had quite a wintry childhood - what with living in Russia, the UK, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan. I ice-skated, and was terrible at it. I've never skied, or boarded, or taken part in any sort of snowsports. It was not for lack of wanting, however. The opportunity just never seemed to arise.

In SLC, I loved the long track speed skating, the downhill ski racing, the freestyle moguls and aerials, and the figure skating. Growing up, Midori Ito had been a favourite. I took little interest in the Nordic skiing events, though in the years that followed I seriously considered taking it up as a second sport, because I desperately wanted to become one of the few who competed in both Summer and Winter Olympics.

I followed Torino's Games in 2006 with much more interest. I distinctly remember Sasha Cohen failing to win her much-anticipated gold for figures, and then performing to "Don't Rain On My Parade" in the gala. The rather canny television commentator remarked that it was a bit late for that. I had brief but all-encompassing obsessions with Hannah Teter and Shaun White. I became an expert on aerial skiing, as well as following the alpine events with much candour. Bode Miller was my favourite, despite his failure to live up to expectations.

And now it's Vancouver's turn. The Games open on February 12th, and it seems as if most of the action will take place in beautiful Whistler.

I'm not a fan of Olympic mascots, but here they are anyway. In Sydney they had the weird Syd, Ollie and Millie and Athens presented Athina and Phevos, which bore more resemblance to penises than anything else. The Athens Paralympics' Proteas was cute but still irrelevant, and last year in Beijing there were FIVE mascots, Beibei, Huanhuan, Jingjing, Nini and Yingying. The Paralympic Games definitely drew the short straw there, with an odd, multi-coloured cow named Lele.

Sumi, Quatchi and Miga

Yeah, they're pretty weird. I'm not going to lie though, I do like the medals. I've long been a fan of the Winter Olympic medals over their Summer cousins. Here's the 2010 medals.

Winter Olympic Medals

Their Paralympic cousins are more than a step-up from last years' 1960s-inspired loot from Beijing. Urgh.

wtf.

Moving on.

The sports to be contested at the Winter Olympics are:

Alpine Skiing, Biathlon, Bobsleigh, Cross-Country, Curling, Figure Skating, Freestyle Skiing, Ice Hockey, Luge, Nordic Combined, Short Track, Skeleton (bound to become my personal fave), Ski Jumping, Snowboard and Speed Skating.

New Zealand has 22 "hopeful" athletes, with final selection to take place in January. Random fact: there are no Skeleton tracks in our country, but we have three Skeleton athletes gunning for selection.

Now that's something everyone can enjoy...

Kosuke!

Yes, Kosuke lives.

He's currently in Federal Way, Wash., (at a pool I've competed at!!!) at the US Short Course Nationals. I hate short course. ESPECIALLY American short course. Here in New Zealand, we have one short course meet of importance each year. In the US, the collegiate system is built around short course, YARDS racing. Yuk. Sure, it means that men's breaststroke races (like the one I just embedded, where Kosuke placed second) are over in 52 seconds, but it's still lame. In my Maryland days (2005), I trained at the Cecil County YMCA pool, which was yards. It was cool to be swimming like, 25 second 50m freestyle splits, but just not that realistic.

Anyway, I'm just excited that my second (or third? I can't remember) favourite Japanese guy is still in the water. Here's a weird photo from Beijing.

I just don't really know what to say about it. It supposedly came from heat seven of the 200m breaststroke at the Olympics, but there is a very strictly adhered-to rule in breaststroke that states you must remain on your front (or breast, if you will) at all times during the race. Why the guy on the left looks like he's about to swim some very technically incorrect freestyle, and Kosuke is not only at 45 degrees from his breast, but his ankles are almost crossed (another disqualification point) is just like, blowing my mind.

Moving on.

It's unfathomable, but in just twelve days (it's 1:30am Sunday, not 9:30pm Saturday as my time stamp will have you believe) I'll be home again, having completed my Summer programme. I can't wait! Never mind that before that, I have two exams, one worth 40% and one worth 20%. That's another story altogether.

Here's a favourite photo from the Beijing Olympics. I love the almost non-existent moment between turning to look at the clock and seeing your time.

Good.

I am so not going to get to 27 posts this month. I just have nothing to share.

Bliss!

Thanks, Threadless!

T J Zhang's masterpiece, "Blooming" has been reprinted! AND GUESS WHO GOT IN FAST ENOUGH TO BUY ONE!?

Yep. I did.

It's December, and I had the goal of posting 28 blogs this month so my year's total would get up to 300. Well, that now seems unlikely as so far, December has been highly uneventful (with the exception of the "Blooming" reprint, obviously). Unless I just talk crap every day for the rest of the month... Oh wait, that's what I do every other month.

Today it's Thom's birthday (which you may have gathered if a) you are Thom, b) you follow me on Twitter, c) you're a Facebook friend of mine or d) you read it on my blog yesterday. Or whenever I last mentioned it) and he is 22. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (I've lost count of how many times I've said it now)

In light of the furore surrounding Tiger Woods and his alleged mistresses, Kirsty has jumped on the bandwagon, citing a Waikato Times newspaper front page headline from 2002 "Kirsty Wows Tiger". Of course, it actually made reference to Kirsty's superior golfing skills at the time (she held a 2 handicap in our younger days) but that hasn't stopped her posting it on Facebook and telling "you other bitches to eat your heart out!". Good.

Staying in the Waikato, in an unusual stroke of luck and good fortune, I've been named as a finalist for the Waikato Sportswoman Of The Year award. My competition is: Casey Williams (Silver Ferns captain), Clarissa Eshuis (Black Sticks team member, and the sister of Casey's lovely fiance, Wessel) and Sarah Jarvis (World Cup-level skier). You could say I don't like my chances, but that's an understatement. Where is World Championships semi-finalist Monique Williams? Or Silver Fern Laura Langman? I've perplexed as to how my one race stacks up against a Silver Ferns captaincy. But anyway, since I'm not going to be around for the awards evening itself, I've had to write an acceptance speech, on the odd chance that I do win. I say the odds are about 3.9 million to one.

Casey

My latest blog feature idea: The twelve days of a Miriam Christmas. In which I will add something each day to a list of gifts I would like from my true love (or other benefactors. I'm not expecting anything, bar maybe an abusive text message, from Donny this year). Roll on, December 12.

That's all for now, but expect plenty of blather in the next few weeks. I'm determined to hit 300.

Tokyo Time

You may be fooled into thinking that I post my blogs at the time it says I do.
And why wouldn't you...


But anyway, turns out I don't because for some reason (possibly because I'm me, and I'm a complete spaz) I have my blog running on Tokyo time. ANYWAY. In real time, it's 11:27pm on November 30, which means I have 33 minutes to get a post in before I turn into a pumpkin.


It's December tomorrow. What was I crapping on about this time last year? (Yes, there's going to be a lot of that in the next few days, until I get over the novelty of having had a blog for more than a year.)


Well, pretty much the same stuff, to be honest. What kind of mascara should I buy? What kind of bike should I buy? Funnily enough, I have bought both of the mascaras mentioned - MAC's Dazzle Lash AND Smashbox Bionic Mascara, and neither of them are my fave. I'm afraid that honour now belongs to Lancome's Cils Design Pro. Where would I be without my jetsetting mother?


I have no need for bikes anymore - instead I spend my spare time trawling the internet for guitars. Not forgetting, of course, that I can't actually play yet, but it's okay. My dad is restringing the acoustic guitar he made for me years ago so I can play it lefty, and then once I'm awesome (so, in about three weeks - HA!) I'm going to buy a Firebird.

Me? Obsessed with firebirds in general? Never.


I was distraught to discover my flatmate does not know the story of the Firebird. My mum tells me it's because he's not "from Russia" - which is the first time I've heard her refer to our family as that. We are, for the record, not Russian - or from there. My parents are fiercely proud of their British heritage, so it must hurt them some to have a daughter that raves about the good old days in Turkmenistan.


Anyway, point is, I'm pretty sure you don't need to be Russian to know of the Firebird.


Example: The New York ballet, featuring Maria Tallchief, performed it in 1949. Tallchief, the prima ballerina of the era (America's first, and also "Native America"'s first) danced the role of the Firebird. She was married to choreographer George Ballanchine, but had the marriage annulled in 1952.

On an unrelated note, Maria's daughter (not from the Ballanchine marriage), Elise Paschen teaches writing at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago - the school is rated the third best Fine Arts programme in America. Yes, I am now a fan on Facebook.


I'm not sure how any of that relates to my next rant, which is about TVNZ's "controversial" breakfast time host, Paul Henry. He's a strange little man with definite rodent features who often makes offhand comments that get blown out of proportion here on our island (I should say islands, because I now live on Te Wai Pounamu, not Hi Ika a Maui, which is where Paul is based). His latest? Calling Susan Boyle "retarded".


Oh, dear. Turns out, Ms Boyle was starved of oxygen at birth and as such has an intellectual disability. Mr Henry made the comment that because of this, she is retarded. Which, in 1950, would have been acceptable.


I wouldn't take so much offense to this if I hadn't had the lovely opportunity to converse with LMC about the merits of being retarded. According to her, it does not just refer to someone with a "mental disability" (not the correct terminology, for those of you who care) but in fact, anyone with any type of disability. It also puts you in a lower social class. In the last nine years, I've spent more time than necessary trying to explain to those in higher social classes (ie, those without any type of disability. I should consider myself thankful they even talk to me, really) the difference between the Special Olympics and the Paralympics. No, I'm not saying that Special Olympians are retards. In fact, "retard" is not an acceptable term to describe any type of disability, least of all one that is imposed intellectually. The fact that I frequently call myself a retard has nothing to do with the fact that I had a stroke (which, for the record, had absolutely no impact whatsoever on my intellect), but surely the repercussions of calling myself a retard are far less resounding than having a person with an intellectual impairment (through no fault of their own, obviously) being referred to as one by not only a person who is sound of mind, but one in the public eye (and one who, for whatever reason, has quite a fanbase). The fact that Mr Henry claimed afterwards that he had done nothing wrong and it was okay to use the word with reference to people with intellectual disabilities, makes it just a little bit worse. Is he serious?


I'm not going to lie. I am not a fan of the Special Olympics, mainly for the effect it has on the achievements of Paralympians. Sophie Pascoe, for example (not the same Sophie I frequently refer to in my posts) is a Paralympic champion who at last year's four-yearly Paralympic Games in Beijing, China (you will note that the Paralympics occur two weeks after each Olympic Games, in the same host city, and is organised by the same committee as its more well-known cousin, the Olympics) won a total of four medals for New Zealand - three gold - including a world record-breaking 100m backstroke gold, and a silver in the 100m butterfly. Her achievements were well-reported in the media, which is unusual, but it should be noted that they are far greater achievements than any performance at the Special Olympics. For that reason, Sophie, along with Cameron Leslie - who won a gold in the 150m IM race in world record-breaking time - was inducted into the New Zealand Order of Merit. I can assure you that the Paralympics are held in much greater esteem than the Special Olympics.


Still, my life is often consumed with explaining the differences. Here's a chart.

PARALYMPICS	SPECIAL OLYMPICS
Held four-yearly, in conjunction with the Olympic Games	Held every year
Athletes represent a country (eg. Great Britain, Australia, Kenya)	Entrants represent themselves. No national representation is earned by competing
Qualifying standards, along with a competitive entry system	Open entry
Gold, silver and bronze medals for first, second and third place. Olympic diplomas for top-eight finishes	Gold medals for all competitors
Competitors are the elite in their field. Some are full-time athletes, receiving the same support from their country’s national sporting body as their Olympic counterparts	Any person with an intellectual impairment is welcomed.
Focus on sport, winning, achieving world record performances	Focus on fun, participation and camaraderie

For these reasons, you can imagine the uproar when it was recently announced that athletes with intellectual disabilities are to be re-introduced to the Paralympics (they were ousted after Sydney when the Spanish ID basketball team were found to be ineligible - yeah, you read that right. It was The Ringer, in real life). The fact that this sort of thing can even happen is testament to the fact that the Paralympics should remain only for people with physical disabilities. You can fake a learning disability, but not an amputation or spinal injury.

Anyway, I guess the years I've spent fiercely defending the Paralympics have been for nothing. From here on in, things are bound to get ridiculous.

Over and out, and hello December.

"Or Have An IQ Above 50"

From overheardinNewYork.com

Girl: Wow, you are really tall!
Guy: Yeah, I know...
Girl: No, seriously, you're like as tall as that Ying Yang guy!
Guy: What? Who? Oh, you mean Yao Ming?
Girl, laughing: Oh yeah, whatever, I don't watch baseball.

Nine Dollars

Did I cave and buy a shirt from Threadless, in light of their $9 tshirt sale?

Yes.

But it's a goodie!!

It's Liberty, by Anton Chigurh. The gold bit glows in the dark! I don't know, it kind of reminds me of The Firebird, which is a story I LOVE from my childhood. Anyway, since I now own eight Threadless shirts, I'm only going to need to do laundry once a week next year! Awesome.

PS: Noticed I've started italicising everything? Yeah, me too. I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough. I mean, I got over Donny, right?

Ha ha ha.

HMUFC09

On December 8th last year, I wrote a post called "Hook Me Up For Christmas". It's weird that it was almost a year ago, because without sounding like every other person in the world that whinges about how time flies, it really seems like only weeks ago that I had Christmas morning breakfast with Superhuman Sam at our Bayswater flat. What's gone down since then?

Well, first things first: I lost the job I then had at Esquires at Auckland's ferry terminal.
Sam moved out, and was replaced with that horrible, horrible kid who we later drove away. I still shudder at the thought of him.
Nayuha moved back to Japan (read all about it here, and here) in February.
Sophie's 21st!! SO good.
I "graduated" from the Samala Robinson Academy for Fashion Makeup in April.
48 Hours Furious Filmmaking - I met some of my favourite people ever, and was nominated for the "Best Makeup" award.
In June, I was selected for ITU World Championships, and won them on September 12th.
Since September, it's been a rough ride, with Ben passing away, and his funeral.
This, and a few other accompanying events led me to my decision to head back to the University of Otago in January...

and here we are (well, almost. But you can see how I got from there to here, right?)

And now it's nearly goddamn Christmas all over again.

So, without further ado...

Hook Me Up For Christmas: 2009 Edition

RACING?
No, thank you. I'm done with that game now. A silicone swimming cap wouldn't go amiss, though. I still enjoy the odd, five-times-a-week frollick in the pool, and you just know my latex cap is going to rip my already incredibly damaged hair right out.

BEAUTY
Ah-ha! Well, I'll work in order of application...
Lush Snow Fairy Shower Gel. This is a big fave, but one that gets forgotten after every New Year because once it disappears from the shelves, something else exciting replaces it and I forget allll about it until the following silly season.
philosophy Amazing Grace. The shower gel, the perfumed hot salt scrub, the eau de parfum, the candle. I want the lot. And I want a never-ending supply, hear me?! Never-ending!!
Kerastase Forcintense. Obsessed! My hairdresser fairly demanded that I buy this due to the unnatural shade of blonde hair I currently sport. Trouble is, at $60 for a three-treatment pack... yeah, I need someone else to buy it for me.
Kate Somerville ExfoliKate. And whatever else she makes.
Dior SkinFlash Primer: already been talked about. Want want want!
DiorSkin Sculpt Makeup. OR Make Up For Ever HD Foundation. Shaniya raves about it, and if there's anyone I listen to about makeup, it's her.
Chanel Luminous Matte Powder Makeup. Thanks to Gracie I still have a steady supply of samples of this.
Make Up For Ever Eyeshadow in Turquoise Matte 72, Neon Pink 75, Iridescent Pearl Grey 170, and Iridescent Acid Green 171. Lipstick in Hollywood Red 206 and Pearly Fluorescent Red 416.

BOOKS
Tonto And The Lone Ranger Fistfight In Heaven - Sherman Alexie. It was on my list last year, and here it is again. Maybe I should just go buy it.
The Corrections - Jonathon Franzen, China Men - Maxine Hong Kingston, Less Than Zero - Bret Easton Ellis, Ragtime - EL Doctorow, Play It As It Lays - Joan Didion... okay so basically the reading list for my January Summer paper.
The Asia Book - A Lonely Planet publication. I already have The Africa Book, but I feel the Asian edition is a little more in line with my plans for the next few years.

OTHER STUFF
A holiday job at Sephora / American Apparel / Threadless for NEXT year. If I can secure one of those, I'm happy to pay my airfare over there.
An airfare to Japan, for when I finish my degree.
This dress, and these heels (below), which I absolutely cannot walk in. Yet.

Oh, and if anyone can sort me out with some mistletoe, under which I can pash Donny, let me know.

Haha.

Peace and love.

Peroxide Nightmares

Nah, who am I kidding? I love peroxide.

Right now, my hair is covered in it. Yes, I got my hair bleached a few weeks ago, but it just wasn't white enough for my liking, so I bought some L'Oreal Perfect Blonde Maximum in the Farmers sale yesterday (and some Napoleon makeup - more on that shortly) and now I'm about halfway through the process that will hopefully result in my hair being the same colour as... I don't know, Lady Gaga's?

Speaking of whom, she is coming to Aotearoa in March to play one show!!! I'm rather excited about the fact. I'll admit her music is not my fave (unless you consider Paparazzi, which with 840 plays, is my #1 most played song on iTunes), but I'm not going to lie about the fact that I wish I was her, and I would go to her show solely so I could see her in the flesh. Probably won't end up happening, as it's about two weeks into the first semester of uni next year, but you know.

Napoleon makeup? I've long been searching for the perfect pale bronze/taupe/tan colour to adorn my eyelids with. Everyone seems to have this colour except me, and I found it last night in a Napoleon Prismatic Eyeshadow Quad (#13, in case you were wondering). I'm a bit obsessed with these quads - if I had more money, I would have gotten shades #1, #6 and #10 as well. Napoleon might just be one of the world's most underrated makeup brands. I'm a fan.

Other things I'm a fan of? Make Up For Ever's out of control range of eyeshadow (112 shades!), their false lashes, and Dior's SkinFlash primer. I do love primer.

Anyway, my scalp is about to burn right off, so I'm going to go rinse.

Peace, love, and white blonde hair.

I Miss Him More Every Day

Oh! The Places You Will Go

You may or may not know that I am a huge Threadless fiend.

So far, my Threadless wardrobe includes:
Star-Cross'd Lovers
True Love Will Find You In The End
I Came To Dance
Playground Joust
Rainforest
Juliet
Alice's Sewing Basket

and yesterday I ordered
Storm
Polar Gardening

So, without further ado, may I suggest you visit the sites of the cool artists who draw the stuff that goes on my tshirts...

Lim Heng Swee - www.ilovedoodle.com
Yeoh Guan Hong - www.hyperthesis.com
Jillian Nickell - jillustration.blogspot.com
Robert Gould - www.coroflot.com/robertgould
T. J. Zhang - www.threadless.com/profile/687585
Jean-Sebastien Deheeger www.neskoncept.com/
Si Scott - www.siscottstudio.com

I'm also a big Camilla Engman fan - you can and should visit her here.

Props to Threadless for being the easiest company ever to deal with, too - they gave me a $3 coupon which I tried, unsuccessfully, to use while placing my order yesterday. Within hours they'd refunded my credit card. I heart Threadless.

I just wish I wasn't so crap at designing my own stuff so I could submit... sigh. One day I'll get into art school...

I Heart StudyLink

New Zealand students from all over the country have a love/hate relationship with the government provider of student loans and allowances, known to us as "StudyLink". We love them because they fund our studies, but we hate them because we are forced to pay them back with stupid amounts of interest. They also frequently fuck us around with regards to course-related costs, living payments, and eligibility requirements.

Since Otago University does not offer a November Summer programme, I opted to come to Canterbury. As such, in order to receive my living payment ($160.24 weekly - and yes, this is added to my final loan total) StudyLink needed confirmation from both schools. Which would be fine, if Otago was willing to confirm my enrolment before January 5th, which is when I start Summer Session there. They are not.

The upshot of this situation is that come January 5th, I stand to receive a nice back payment of $961.44.

The problem is, I need to pay rent, pay a bond for my next year's flat and buy food until then. Which is proving to be a slight issue.

I asked StudyLink if I could apply solely for my Canterbury living costs, to which the answer was no, since the Session only spans six weeks (less than the required twelve). I asked Otago if they could verify my study details ahead of time, so I can survive until I get there. They also said no.

This is not my first living payment battle with StudyLink. Last year, when I began my training at the Samala Robinson Academy, StudyLink informed me that because I wasn't studying full-time (which I was), I wasn't eligible. After a few strong words from the Academy director to StudyLink, I soon started receiving my weekly survival money. Admittedly, with rent at $150 a week, $160.24 did not go far. But you can imagine how well my life would have worked out, had I not received the payments.

I managed to complete my Bachelor's degree on a Prime Minister's Scholarship for swimming, but sadly this will not be the case for my hugely more expensive postgraduate work. Am I then, tempted to get back in the pool in a vain attempt to cover tuition? Yes. Only that in the five years since Athens, swimming speed at the Olympics has increased exponentially to the extent where I'll either need a miracle or some designer steroids to be considered "back in the game". Aaand I'm not sure how well that's going to fit in with my academic schedule.

Meh, well. I suppose this is what we get for wanting an education.

Guitar Hero

I can't remember if I've carried on about how obsessed I am with Orianthi Panagaris yet.

She's my new hero. Now I'm going to buy a guitar, learn how to play it via YouTube, then go play Donny a song. Or something.

Anyway...

I was watching one of her YouTube posts where she says "in life, I think you should do what you get." Which is sound advice, and some I've been ignoring for the most part of my own life.

I am far better at writing than I am at science, but I forced myself through a science degree, and I'm about to force myself through a Master's, because I like it, even though I could have comparatively breezed through a degree in English. To be fair, I think anyone would breeze through an English degree though. Case in point: Post-Modernist Fiction. You don't have to be a genius, by any stretch of the imagination, to know that the themes in every PM book are the same. The writing is notable only for its inherent grimness, and sense of desolation. And more than anything, you inevitably want to kill yourself by the end of each book.

A similar thing happened the day I jumped out of the pool halfway through a set, two days after failing to qualify for the Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games. I left the pool with not so much as a word to my coach, Richard, and by the end of the day in question I was at Porritt Stadium, wearing spikes and repeating windsprints, trying to convince myself that a track career was going to be as easy as my swimming career was.

Three months later, when it wasn't, and I was mostly laid up with constant stress fractures, I started to rue the day I walked out of the Hamilton Municipal Pools. I quickly found out, however, that unlike Dara Torres, I was not going to make any sort of comeback. I'm lucky triathlon involves swimming. I would be screwed in any other situation...

So you see, I've spent my life going against what I get. It's been good. Depending on how you look at it. And this, kids, is precisely why I'm going to buy a guitar and play Donny songs.

Oh, and another thing: can you believe they're already advertising the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics on TV? I mean, sure I'm excited, but I'm also fairly sure they don't start until my birthday. It should be good, though. I'm a big Canada fan (just ask Curtis).

Over and out, yo.

Kicking And Screaming

It's my birthday today!

Well, kind of.

It's been one year since I started my blog! So my blog is one year old today. Yuss!!!

Maybe I'll do a new layout to celebrate. I'm boring like that.

Forward, Ho.

I'm pretty sure that American Dad is one of my favourite shows ever. I know, I know. I watch far too much television. But after spending my entire swimming career unable to watch any, I'm making up for it now.

Roger is my favourite, by far. Tonight was that episode where he sends photos of himself to the CIA, and then poses as the photographer who takes them. In one of his best random outbursts (others include "did someone order a sexy Persian wingman?" and "ba-blam! ba-blam!" when he's blasting his quads) he destroys the puzzle he's been working on and cries

"I hate puppies! Get out of that teacup! That cup is for tea."

So good.

And I thought the picture would make a nice departure from my last post.

Time Is Running Out

I complain a lot. A lot. And I'll be the first to admit it. Most evenings, just to annoy my flatmate, I'll sit on the couch and repeat, in a monotone "I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored." Within two days of moving in, I accused his old flatmate of having fleas, because I discovered a hideous rash on one of my ankles (ew, I know). If there's something to complain about, I will, and if there's not, then I'll find something.

Which leads me to my next point: I complain, more than anything, about my current state of existence.
I wish I was in Japan.
I wish I was in Texas.
I wish I was hiking with Aubrey on the Appalachian Trail.
I wish I was in Bayswater.
I wish I was at Lake George.
I wish I attended Stanford. Or NYU. Or UCLA.

You get the picture. I'd rather be anywhere but here. I'm a very discontented girl.

At Worlds in Australia, I met the wife of an athlete who was on her first overseas adventure. Ever. She'd not been out of the Waikato previously. Not been on a plane (subsequently, when they experienced turbulence on the flight, she assumed the horror of motion-sickness was normal). I felt slightly guilty then, for all my complaining - given that I grew up not just in the Waikato but in far-flung villages in Russia, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, and of course, England. I've competed in the US, Canada, Greece, Argentina, Australia, and England.

None of this, however, makes me any less happy with where I am now - which is, for the record, attending the Summer Session at the University of Canterbury in Christchurch. I still have many, many things to do, and every day, I feel like I'm running out of time. I'm writing about it today because it drove me to such distraction that I spent an hour gazing listlessly (while my mind worked on overdrive) out of the eleventh-floor window at the James Hight Library on campus. I had three books with me (Ragtime, The English Patient, and The Crying Of Lot 49) that I had the intention of reading, but after flipping through a few pages of Ragtime and feeling completely unenlightened, unable to absorb anything, I gave up and got to pondering.

Normally, I'd call this sort of behaviour procrastinating, because normally it would be intentional. In previous years of study, I've been known to investigate loosely related subtopics (which inevitably lead to even less related topics, before downward spiraling into unrelated oblivion) which, while I would claim gave me a better understanding of the subject at hand, was a blatant attempt to avoid the necessary. Everyone does it.

But this semester, things are different. I'm determined to have all nine required texts for that fiction class done and dusted before it starts a few days after the New Year. So it pissed me off today when I couldn't concentrate. It's still pisssing me off now, and it's making my writing blathery and almost incoherent.

I don't know what my problem is.

I chose this destiny for myself. After Worlds in September, I sold my bike.
"No more triathlon, or competitive sport for me!" I said. I thought about my Master's degree. I thought and thought. And then my dear friend Ben died, and it was within days of that awful news, in a moment of melancholy clarity, when I decided that I would commit at least the next eighteen months of my life to furthering my education. I enrolled not only at the University of Otago, but also for the Summer programme here at Canterbury. There was to be no more fucking around, dabbling in pointless and dead-end pursuits. It was a matter of getting my degree, and getting out of here.

I'm pleased to say that halfway through the Summer Session, I'm still dedicated to the cause, which is something of a milestone in that usually my dreams and grand plans are not unlike the waves at Manu, which is where Ben's ashes were scattered. The waves there, the best of the west, come in at sometimes more than six feet high, awe-inspiring and full of grandeur. Then within moments they crash into the rocks, never to be seen again. Often forgotten.

So why the restlessness? I'm curious. I have a plan that I'm actually following through. Once this is done, I have more exciting plans - Japan, Texas, Iceland. The Appalachian Trail with Aubrey. Even NYU or Stanford. I wish I would shut the hell up.

I spent this afternoon in a remarkable funk, following the library episode. There was a fly in my room. My bed is uncomfortable. Our internet kept cutting out. I was behind in my reading. I don't feel much better now, which is why this very post is getting longer and more grim. I feel bad about it. I need to spend some more time with Luke.

It's now five minutes past midnight. It's a new day.

Time to get on with it.

It's My Dad's Birthday Today

And I only know that because the date appeared at the top of my last post. Oops.

Hmm, happy birthday Dad. I wonder if anyone else in my family remembered... Probably not.

You have to excuse my uninvolved writing style - I have been reading far too much Post-Modernist fiction. Seriously, in the last two weeks I've read the following books.

- Less Than Zero (Bret Easton Ellis)
- Play It As It Lays (Joan Didion)
- The Corrections (Jonathon Franzen)
- White Noise (Don DeLillo) I've read this twice before already, and have to read it twice next year too

and yesterday I started Ragtime by E L Doctorow. Reading list for AMST322 much? *yawn*


After deciding that NYU is where I want to write an MFA, I last night read that NYU is ranked #5 on the Princeton Review's Unhappiest Students list. Good? This is, for the record, the same ranking system which has Stanford placed at #4 in Happiest Students. Missing something? I don't know. I kind of want to be happy when I'm at grad school.

I'm really bored. There is no drama in Christchurch to throw myself into, which is probably a good thing, but you know. I miss it all the same.

That said, it's not like there's much to go back to Hamilton for - Sophie and Thom both have Auckland jobs now. *sigh*

thomspot.com

Thom started a blog last week that is already way better than mine.

wipethatsmileoffyourface.blogspot.com

Photo Of The... Day/Week/Month/Year...

My old man crush, Greg Graffin (DoctorGraffin on Twitter) posted two photos today. This is my favourite. His piano is beautiful. Is he the greatest man alive? Perhaps.

For the record, he's not that old... he's only like, 45 (having had his birthday on November 6th). And he rules.

Today, I've developed a new obsession with New York University. Lady Gaga attended the Tisch School of the Arts, which is... not where I want to go, but NYU seems exciting to me. I drove past its Greenwich Village campuses last time I was in the city.

Sure, only about 20 out of 800 graduate applicants are granted admission, but I'm willing to give it a whirl.

Peace and love, yo.