Track Stories

Today, I received the following text message from my sister:
"you know the track athlete someone Johnson? what events did he do? a black guy."

First, I hoped she was kidding. My common sense however, told me she was not, and that my sister really does not know who Michael Johnson is. Dear God.

I find this slightly offensive, due to the fact that Michael is still widely regarded as the best 200m-400m runner ever. He still holds the world record for 400m (43.18), set in 1999, and his phenomenal 200m time of 19.32 stood for 12 years until some guy named Usain Bolt broke it last year in Beijing. Michael held an unprecedented dominance over the 400m for his years in track & field, the only tarnish on which was forced upon him by his stupid relay teammate Antonio Pettigrew, who took performance-enhancing substances in 1999 and 2000, leading to the US men's 4x400m team being stripped of their gold medals in Sydney. Nice one, bro.

I know, I know. I shouldn't get so offended, because not everyone keeps track and swimming profiles world records on call in their memory, but it's Michael freakin' Johnson. Not some random Ethiopian-turned-Bahraini miler (no offense, Maryam Jamal).

Anyway, enough of that, and onto Lolo Jones, who I've known of for years, but only today stumbled across this particularly gorgeous photo of.


Jones, who is a hurdler of French, Norwegian, Native American and African-American descent out of Des Moines, Iowa, bowed out of the USA Track & Field 100m hurdles semi in the weekend after locking arms with Michelle Perry. Kind of unfortunate, because she had a real shot at Worlds (at last year's World Indoors, she won the 60m hurdles title) and was coming off a win at the Boston Indoor Games (pictured). Anyway, she's gorgeous and I wonder if I would look that good if I took up hurdling? Thoughts welcome.

Over and out for today, yo.

Just In Case...

You needed MORE reasons to be excited about the upcoming FINA World Championships in Rome, Italy...

FINA is, for the uninitiated, the international governing body of swimming, synchronised swimming, waterpolo, and diving. And we all know that swimming is the world's greatest sport.

The championships are fast-approaching, running from July 18th until August 2nd (it sounds long, but that's because it includes the four disciplines of swimming, diving, open water, and synchro).

Swimming has recently come under fire due to the advent of technologically advanced swimsuits, which some claim "take away" from the athletic performance of the swimmers. Sure, maybe they do, but that's really only because people keep going on about them. These aren't average Joes who buy $1000 suits and become overnight world record holders. You may know that I used to swim (seems like sooo long ago now!) and I can tell you without a hint of exaggeration that when you're a swimmer, water is your world. And when you spend up to six hours a day practicing every aspect possible of your stroke, streamline, turns, pullouts... you're willing to go the extra mile when choosing a racing suit that's going to contribute, even the tiniest amount, to all the hard work you've already spent your life putting in.

So to me, the swimsuit thing is a non-issue. It's kind of boring to think about when you see that Federica Pellegrini (who I am NOT a fan of, by the way. I'm Team Manaudou) has recorded a 4:00.41 for 400m freestyle. LONG COURSE! That is SO fast. My entire swimming career, the record stood at 4:03.85 which was set by Janet Evans in 1988. It's come down in leaps and bounds in recent years, obviously - mostly between the aforementioned Pellegrini and Laure Manaudou, who won the 400m freestyle in Athens, where I competed! Yay.

Then there's added excitement from Stephanie Rice, the prodigal Australian medley specialist who has recently branched out to include everything from 100m freestyle to 200m butterfly to her programme... her ex-beau, Eamon Sullivan, who has this year knocked so much time off the 50m freestyle world record it's phenomenal (when I swam, it was 21.64. It's now 21.28)... French monsters Alain Bernard and Fred Bousquet... Michael Phelps - who needs no introduction...

and my personal favourite!!!




Kosuke!!! Kitajima, in case you didn't know. The "Little Tsunami" out of Tokyo shot to international prominence in 2003 at the World Championships in Barcelona (a meet where other old favourites such as Aaron Peirsol and Yana Klochkova still reigned), then proceeded to win the breaststroke double in Athens over the much-favoured and much more outspoken American Brendan Hansen (to be fair, he can't help that. He's from Texas). In 2005 when FINA allowed the much-disputed butterfly kick in breaststroke pullouts, Kitajima only got faster. In Beijing, he did the double again, with a shiny new world record to go with it - 58.91 over the 100m (that's ridiculous. I challenge you to swim a 50m breaststroke long course in under that time). In June of last year he had already lowered the 200m record to an unthinkable 2:07.51. He also helped the Japanese medley relay team to a bronze in the 4x100m event - something that, let me assure you, they could not have achieved without him. Splits say EVERYTHING.

Sure, Kitajima's double-double was overshadowed by the outstanding achievement of some highly evolved fishboy from Towson, Maryland named Mike, but there's no denying he's truly a superstar.

Did I mention that swimming is the greatest sport ever?

WATCH WORLDS. July 18th - August 2nd, Rome, Italy.

Best For You

Mmm, I know in the past I've expressed a general dislike for Bare Escentuals because of their monopoly on the foundation market at Sephora, but their latest offering may have me converted...

And there is it, ladies. bareMinerals SPF15 Matte Foundation. Yes, please.

If you're anything like me, you're constantly searching for the perfect powder to give you a matte finish, without giving you crow's feet, more visible pores, and smile lines to boot. I was mostly happy with my MAC Mineralize SkinFinish Duo, but that's recently, and mysteriously, gone missing from my makeup kit (so a big "fuck you!" to whoever took it). And to be honest, layering powder on top of primer and liquid foundation isn't always ideal if you don't wish to be broken out for the week following.

So is this the answer to my dilemma? I sure hope so. Of course, since it's only being released now in the US, it's going to be a while before I can get my mitts on it, but I'm happy to wait.



This week: I'm testing out Auckland's SkinFit for a facial prior to Theresa's party. This is due to the fact that my efforts to sort out my skin have gone awry - turns out a couple weeks of drinking tonnes of water, using Pro-Activ (which I hate, by the way) and eating more fruit than ever before, DOESN'T WORK. I hate you, skin. Anyway, I'm hoping a "Skin Fix" or something to that effect will set me right.

I'll let you know, yo.

Bright And Shiny

I never mentioned it before because I guess I got too wound up in my own self-absorbed drama, but my mum kindly brought home a truckload of makeup for me from her travels in the UK and China. Yeah, my mum is the best.

First up, she bought the new Benefit Smokin' Eyes palette for me from a department store in Cambridge. It's pretty cute, and whilst I'm already a bit of a smoky eyes star (haha), I've had heaps of fun playing with it and testing it out on my sister, Louise. Look out this weekend, at Theresa's 21st. Since I'm on makeup duty for most of my crew... they'll be smokin' the place out. My god, was that the WORST pun you ever heard? Me too. I promise I won't do it again.

mmm sexpot, yes?

Also in the bounty my mum trawled home for me was my new favourite mascara! Lancome's Cils Design Pro. It's kind of like a regular mascara with a Tiny Sniper on the other end. If you're a mascara whore, you'll know what I mean. If not... it's pretty much magic. I swear, just wearing this stuff on its own makes my eyes bluer. And I'm not usually one to, well... wear mascara on its own! Clever.

Mascara fiend? I have a feeling you might like this.

I put in a special request for a Juicy Tube. Yeah, I know - they're old news now. In fact, I remember them being hip in 2005, which was a long time ago now. But I've never had one before so I'm naturally pretty happy with it. It's No.95, Marshmallow Electro, in case you were wondering... so in other words, right up my 23-going-on-12-year-old-girl alley. Yuss!

I've also recently been bombarded by free Chanel samples, courtesy of the darling Gracie. I have enough teeny tiny bottles of "Chance" to get me through a trek in the Sahara smelling sweet as ever.

My world seems to be filled with perfume at the moment, on which of course I'm thriving. My mum also bought me the special Tommy Hilfiger Dreaming travel set, which included a massive bottle of EDP, along with a shower gel and body cream. Exciting. Add that to the Chanel, and the trusty bottle of Japanese Cherry Blossom fragrance from The Body Shop which is making all my clothes and towels smell amazing at the moment... and yeah, I've got something of a parfumery going on down here at 2/70. Mmmm.

Something ever so slightly unrelated: I'm addicted to Playfish's Geo Challenge on Facebook. I'm not even kidding. It entails identifying flags, countries by topography, cities on a map and then landmarks on a map. And as you can imagine, with my flair for otherwise useless geographical information, I'm kind of good at it. Currently, my best score is around 37,000 for the World Tour, and I'm ranked second in New Zealand for the USA Tour. Mind you, this is most likely because most New Zealanders claim to "hate America" and as such they probably have no interest in playing. Meh. Your loss, bitches. I love that game.

Eek, it's coming up to the end of June already! I can't believe! That means the year is half-gone, and I've curbed the following habits so far this year:
- V
- Lift Plus
- Wendy's Frosty Floats
- Fanta and L&P
- Cheeseburgers
- Red Licorice

Ideas for July are welcome. It's currently at a toss-up between chocolate, french fries and chicken burgers.

July also means:
- more winter. Boo!
- Theresa's 21st
- Danielle's birthday!
- FINA World Championships in Rome, Italy (and great perving-at-Kosuke Kitajima opportunities for me)
- no more $1 Les Mills visits

So I can't decide if I'm excited or null. Anyway, whatever happens it means we're closer to Tokyo being named as Olympic City for 2016, and the BAD RELIGION SHOW!

Yeehaw.

Live From Hayward Field

On Friday night, Kara Goucher won the USA Track & Field Championship for the women's 5000m in 15:20.94. Victory! Kara is my favourite American runner. I was disappointed when she didn't contest the 10,000m (which was won by Amy Begley over Shalane Flanagan... unexpected) but this more than makes up for it.

It's especially impressive when you consider that in the last year Kara has been kicking some serious marathon butt, turning in a 2:25 at last year's New York marathon, as well as a 2:32 in Boston. There's a pretty huge gap between running 5km and running a marathon, guys. I should know.

Anyway, huge congratulations going Kara's way right now. This victory has given her the opportunity to represent the USA at the World Championships in Berlin (August 15-23).

I wish I could run a 15-minute 5km. I would be pretty happy with that.

Back to Canada, and I'm happy to report that Curtis won silvers in the 100m and 200m for T54. He's had some trouble getting back into the swing of racing for a bit, and while I know he's capable of a lot quicker than what he went this weekend, I'm glad to see he's back in the game.

I think that's enough out of me for now, so over and out, bitches. xo

Dear Perdita: Calm Down

Spotted this morning on athletics.ca (a site I'm frequenting this weekend as Curtis, Megan, Stefanie, Ryan and a few other friends compete at the Canadian Track & Field Championships in Toronto): "Dear Nike: Perdita Wants Her Money Back".


It's a kind of pointless article about Perdita Felicien, a Canadian hurdler and World Championship silver medallist, who is sponsored by (my old sponsor!) Nike. Whilst in Chicago recently, she visited the Nike store there and paid (!!!) for a t-shirt, on the understanding that she would be reimbursed. First of all, that's kind of lame, don't you get enough t-shirts when you're sponsored by Nike? I know I did - I still have a couple as yet unworn. Anyway, said t-shirt was $34 USD and carries the slogan "training is the opposite of hoping". During the press conference at which Perdita was wearing the t-shirt, she was asked what it meant to her.

Rather than elaborating on the question asked, she instead went off on what sounded like a tirade because she had not yet been reimbursed. $34. Come on, man. If the $34 was so precious to you, you should have just left it on the rack in the store. OR, rather than buying it, requested it from the company. Which is how I have two unworn pairs of Nike Frees at home...

Anyway, shouldn't she just shut up and hurdle? Who cares about $34? There are worse off people in the world.

STFU.

That Was Unexpected

Turns out Kyle Pryor, to whom I dedicated an entire post to a few days ago (read it here) is a certified superbabe. As evidenced in the Cleo Bachelor of the Year competition...


I think I prefer him with bunny ears. Anyway, he's white soooo, not really my cup of tea. So you guys can fight over him.

Didn't see that one coming.

Absurd Musings On A ... Death

I wanted to refrain from mentioning the demise of Michael Jackson, which occurred this morning local time. It's a ... big day as far as notable deaths go, which is sort of unbelievable. Earlier in the day, Farrah Fawcett, who I mentioned in an earlier post, passed away from cancer.

I never saw Jackson's death coming. Ever. I'm completely serious - to me, he's always seemed like some sort of ethereal creature. He was never really there. And if he was there, he would always be. It sounds silly to say it now, but I guess I thought he would live forever.

I definitely didn't imagine that he would meet his end so dramatically while I napped, post-workout this morning.

Michael Jackson is dead. I just typed it, but I still can't comprehend it.

I suppose if nothing else he will live forever in the hearts of those of us who loved him. But he's gone, guys. He actually died.

Whoa.

The Ano Index

It's finally been proven by science that girls don't care if guys are fat, but guys only want hot girls.

Yes, kids... say what you will about "normal-sized" people, but it's just NOT true. Unless of course, the man in question is a morphophiliac with a particular inclination towards... the larger woman. And let's face it... they're a dying breed.

Not that I'm complaining. I love skinny, as you may know if you've known me longer than five minutes (the average time it takes me to launch into pro-eating disorder banter from conversation initiation). I'm also stoked that recently I've skinnied down to the extent where I get asked if I'm "ano", if I eat, and various other skinny-related compliments.

I've since started something of an international incident on Facebook about anorexia.

Now Becky's claiming she's "not going to stop until someone can play the piano on my ribs".

Let's just clarify. There's a fine line between what me and the Beck are doing, and anorexia. I'll admit we are borderline eating disorder sufferers, but to be fair - she's a mother, and I'm a triathlete. We do eat. Not a lot, maybe even not enough, but I'm still functioning enough to kick your ass in the pool, so shut your damn mouth.

I'm not going to be "normal-sized" or "plus-size" if it stops me getting a quality partner. Flaaaag that. Skinny is in, girls.

Peace, love and ribs...

I'm From There

At 2:30am this morning I received two texts from one of my friends who was out, "OTP" in Hamilton. "You in town, babe?"

Is he for real?

Come ON, guys. We all know my last foray into the deepest, darkest depths of Hamilton's nightlife was in like, 2004. Since then, I've braved the clubs twice, turning in at about midnight. When you get up at 5:15am to ride bikes, you don't really have the luxury (if you can call it that!) of raging it up in Hamilton's finest, like Bar101 or wherever the kids are hanging out these days. Yuk.

I make no apologies for my lack of socialising. Aren't we kind of old to be seen at haunts most of our crew frequented before we even graduated high school? I'm continually disgusted to see photos of Donny out every weekend at the clubs we used to attend together (back in my tabletop-dancing, getting-kicked-out-of-Coyotes days). Grow up! I'm much happier at 5:30am on my bike than I would be dragging my stilettoed ass home, only to find that I've lost my keys and cellphone. This is something most of the people I know still do every weekend. Gross.

For the record, I'm now a Les Mills fan. Sure, I probably won't be able to afford the astronomical cost of becoming a member and enjoying perks like clean, hair-free drains in the showers, 400,000 classes to choose from each week and good-looking personal trainers, but when I win Lotto this weekend (so, I didn't win Big Wednesday. There's still hope), I'm all over that like white on rice.


I got a bit sad this morning when I checked my iGoogle page to read that Farrah Fawcett passed away yesterday after a three-year struggle with cancer. She was my hair idol (not, as you may have been led to believe, Bob Dylan, who is my hair twin. They're totally different) and one of the most gorgeous sex symbols of the 1970s. Naturally, my best thoughts are with her family and friends at this time.

Peace, love and gorgeous hair. xoxo

Germs Of Perfection

This month, at Les Mills...

Sounds like a bit of me. Currently, I'm a member of the gym at the University of Auckland, which is a nice enough facility, packed with gorgeous Asian boys, but as you can see from this map, it's not exactly... handy.

Les Mills Takapuna however, is far closer, and has way more classes that appeal to my needs (that's Spin/RPM, in case you were wondering). I didn't see as many Asians as I would have liked tonight while I was on my wee tour, but I'm sure this weekend it'll be just like Shanghai. The rest of the gym, unsurprisingly seems a lot more impressive than the Uni gym, too. I'm very happy.

When I arrived tonight, I saw what may be my prototype of the perfect body, on this girl who was leaving. She was blonde (damn her!) with like, an apple butt, even calves (damn her again)... and yeah, she was just hot. Do I sound gay? Probably, but I'd just like to clarify that I'm not.

Anyway, I booked in for RPM tomorrow morning (there's 40 bikes in their class, compared with 16 at the University of Waikato gym, and 26 at Auckland), a class which I've been averaging three a day during my stay in Hamilton... so I'm pretty excited. I've also got four days afterwards to sample their cardio theatre, free weights, swiss ball and stretch area, and about a billion different classes which range from Pump and Balance (which is a hybrid sort of class of yoga and pilates) to BodyVive (I don't even know what that is).

Is it sad to be this excited about a gym?

Peace, love and apple butts...

This Time Is The Last Time

... That I'll mention 48 Hours for a bit... at least I'll try not to.

I just wanted to mention something cute from the final: the V Energy Most Extraordinary Performance Award, which was won by Kyle Pryor's character of "Alex Puddle" from Team Fire & Ice for their film, Cuz.


If you watched 48TV the night it was on, and you have a similar sense of humour to me (read: lame), you probably would have been sold on the film from the first moment the team appeared on-screen "watch my film ow, or I'll smash you!". Guess it's the whole, growing up in the Waikato thing that made me this way.


Anyway, Kyle truly was extraordinary. How he managed to keep up that incredibly painful voice throughout the film was one thing, but he was also funny, insane, and frightening as an actor. My absolute fave (after Thom's manpon commercial, obviously...)


The film other than his performance wasn't amazing - at times questionable cinematography, shadows from microphones and camerapeople - and some other stuff that I'm not exactly qualified to comment on, but I'm just so sold on Kyle. He's what 48 Hours is all about.


If my stills are at all tantalising, y'all should head over to Youtube and watch the full film here.



ALSO: my flatmate is moving out this weekend! I can't actually remember the last time I was this excited (although at a guess it was when we made the City 48 Hours Final). I hate my flatmate like no-one I've ever met, so you can imagine I am the happiest girl alive today.

Peace and love, yo.

These Are Our Lives

Over the last few weeks, Lady Gaga has successfully infiltrated my brain to the extent where I now try to type in time to the beat of "LoveGame". Damn you!

Anyway - since my life recently has been consumed by training: riding bikes - indoors and out, lifting weights (light ones, I assure you), swimming, and running my butt off - I don't have much to share.

I have a race this weekend! It's Race Two of the Triathlon NZ Contact Duathlon Series, at the Viaduct in Auckland. Yay! Just a baby one - 5km run, 20km bike and 2.5km, but admittedly it's been a while since my last foray into the world of duathlon, so it could be interesting.

Nic raced yesterday at the Canada Cup in Canmore and was 16th in the elite women's field. From my understanding, the course was guaranteed to be about 400,000 times harder than any course we have here in Aotearoa - and she clocked a 1:49.48 for the 26km course, which is about 400,000 times faster than I would ever ride. So, again... Nic is my hero.

I'm writing tonight in front of the television, watching my favourite Skins scene ever - where Cassie and her philosophy teacher disco-dance during her A-Level exam for the subject. It's pretty funny - and ever so tainted with sadness as the next scene finds her stealing clothing from a store on her way home, then comes home. THEN Chris dies in her arms. It's all pretty sad stuff, really.

This may in part excuse my crappy writing. Probably not, though.

In some other unrelated news, the V 48 Hours Furious Filmmaking Grand Final was on Saturday night, and thankfully Hardwood Floors did not win. No offense meant there, because I adore Ross - but I'm not a huuuuge fan of that Chris Tan guy. Anyway, the winner was a film called Charlotte, which was the winner of the Dunedin City Final.
And we got a mention!!!
Thanks to the amazing Thom, who won the Hamilton award for "Best Use of Line", we were also nominated for the national award, so a clip of our film got shown. Famous.

Roll on next year. I'm actually stumped as to what to do until 48 Hours next May. Ideas?

Facebook Etiquette

It doesn't exist, as far as I'm concerned. Especially as I operate under a sneaky false identity on there. I have removed the surnames of my flatmates though, just because I'm pretty sure they don't want their names dragged through my blog.

For the record, Sam's back in my good books. Until the next time he decides to "swing by" without giving me any notice. That's a warning, boy.

Face of Smashbox: The World Is Mine!

I'd like to open by wishing Frankie some more get well vibes!! xoxo

After finishing the lovely Jess' makeup tonight, I uploaded all my photos to the Face of Smashbox site. Sooo I'm officially in the running!

Um, slight problem: the competition is based on voting, which closes in about 48 hours. Help? To vote, I'm pretty sure you need to be a fan of Smashbox Cosmetics on Facebook, but an upside is that you can win stuff for voting too! Yay. So please help out if you have a spare couple of minutes! Go here to vote. I'm entered as Miriam Casablancas, and at a guess I probably currently have about zero votes. So I shouldn't be too hard to find!

To see the photos I submitted, stop by at mim.artiste.

My most massive appreciation goes out to my lovely models: Sophie, Casey, Jess, Yasmin, and Penny. Eternal love, as always!


Ha, you won't believe what I did today. It was very childish, so actually maybe you will.

Bike75, which longtime readers may recall as the workplace of Mr. Cannondale (or Mr. Pinarello as he's now upgraded... I posted a photo a few months ago, because I'm a stalker), was having a sale this week, so I took it upon myself to wear as much makeup as humanly possible without looking like a tramp, put on my starvation pants, and head there with the intention of acting like I'd never met him before. And it worked! He looked soooo confused.

Chris: "Hey! What have you been up to!?"
Me: "Uh, hi." *looks away*
Chris: "How have you been?"
Me: "I'm happy just browsing, thanks."
Chris: "Um, okay. As you can see we've got a sale on..."
Me: "Yes. I received an email, thank you."
Chris: *stunned silence*
Me: *awkward smile*


Haha! Okay, it's so not funny, it's really lame - but I enjoyed it anyway. I then went to the Team Platinum store a block away and was greeted chirpily by the two most gorgeous Chinese boys I have ever seen in my life (after you, Curtis xoxo). I am not even kidding. The first one literally took my breath away... it was kind of another *stunned silence* moment, but a good one. This guy was beautiful. Within seconds I'd sent out one of those smoke signal texts "... I'm in love!..." to several friends (admittedly, the exchange consisted of "hi" on both our parts, but I'm pretty sure he loves me too). And then I saw the *other* Chinese guy. Okay, seriously - Team Platinum is a gift from god. And my new favourite hangout...

Beyond stoked that I was wearing a tonne of makeup for our first exchange, anyway. There's nothing like smoky eyes for a first impression.

I really need a cellphone with a camera so I can take Gossip Girl-esque photos around the place. I DID have one (which was used on several occasions to photograph Mr. Cannondale unawares) but the problem with hanging out with people from Tokoroa is that well, they steal your cellphone. Not happy.

My mum is like, five hours away from Auckland International right now! I'm not on airport duty, so I won't get to see her until about 10:30am when I get home from the gym, but that's some exciting news right there! Love my mum.

And just because, here's a photo of Ninja Ginger Productions at the 48Hour hand-in. Is it just me or is Borden REHEHEEALLY goodlooking?


And people say I have a fetish for Asian guys. Pfft. What do they know!

Peace, love, and sweet & sour pork!

Feeling Good

Well, relatively good anyway. Considering that this time last week I was pretty much unable to move out of my bed because I was so sick, I'm pretty happy that since 11am yesterday I have completed five training sessions. Yuss! I LOVE TRAINING!

I'm in Hamilton, on slow internet, which explains my lack of updates since my ex-beau's birthday. I'm sure you haven't missed me too much.

People having way more fun than me: Nic and Cabin. They're a couple of days into their Canadian/American/European adventure, in Whistler BC. Living out my dreams. So while I'd like to be jealous... they're my favourites, soooo I can't be. Nic's first event is this weekend (June 21) in Canmore AB so you can be sure to hear how she goes... either straight from the source or from me.

umm, wtf? is that SNOW?!

Tomorrow night: Big Wednesday. Yes, this has been mentioned before. But this time it's a "historical jackpot" in which you win two cars (a Porsche and an Audi), a boat, an American Express card with $250,000 credit, a holiday home, $50,000 luxury travel. Oh, and $25 million in cash. Dude, I could pay off like, ALL of my friends' student loans (and Donny's. If he'll let me), Rex's mortgage, donate $5 million to cancer research, and still be able to afford to live in Japan for the rest of my life. Yeah, not that I've convinced myself I'm going to win or anything...

So yeah, I'm totally winning.

In a way-too-active-and-outdoorsy-for-my-liking Facebook post from Danielle (could that get any more contradictory?! Not the fact that it's Danielle... the fact that it's all outdoorsy and on Facebook.) she suggests that we do a FIVE-DAY TRAMP. In July. Hmm...

July is, for you Northern Hemisphere dwellers, the middle of the New Zealand winter. And Danielle lives in Greymouth. It's cold there, guys! And she wants to go TRAMPING? And cycling, and other crazy outdoorsy things normally reserved for like, mountain men and descendants of Sir Edmund Hillary.

Sounds like fun. Now I just have to find me some tramping boots...

Shengri Kuaile (Or At Least I Think That's How You Say It In Chinese)

Today is Curtis' birthday.

Hmm, I'm lost for words here. Trying to think of an accurate way to describe how Curtis and I know each other, while keeping it PG.

Yeah, too hard. Anyway, happy birthday you big loser. xoxo

"The Ugly Truth About Beauty"

Bleah. Last night I half-watched 20/20 Special Edition, which was based on UK lifestyle journalist Kate Spicer and her efforts to self-improve through surgery. This isn't better living through chemistry, people. This is beauty. And beauty is pain.


The above is a shot of Kate at the beginning of her journey - one that took her to New York and Los Angeles to get injected, peeled, and injected some more, all in the name of looking younger and well, better. Sure, she's not ideal, but it happens.

Nothing some judicious corrective makeup couldn't fix, though. Let me assure you. I've been through makeup school. I know how to make bags disappear.

Anyway, the documentary went on to show her getting consultations from various surgeons, including one Joan Rivers lookalike who crowed, "I mean, do I look like I've had Botox?" to which Kate's answer was a deadpan "yes". She ended up getting Botox, Restylane, eye fat removal... in all, over 100 injections in a short span of time. Not ideal. One of the procedures was so invasive that she had to remain indoors with the curtains closed for a few days following, so as not to further burn the skin around her eyes. Cosmetic enhancement isn't exactly... versatile.

The show highlighted the absolute non-hesitation many women in the US have about such procedures, which personally I have no problem with (it's just not for me. My god, it must hurt SO much!), but you just have to wonder about the longterm effects of such things. I mean, most of these techniques have been devised in the last ten years. Do we really know what's going to happen to our faces if we keep jabbing at them with various poisons and such? Yikes.

And, in all honesty, I was not that impressed with the results. Her under-eye bags were diminished, yes, but apart from that I saw no real difference. And in terms of like, effort versus outcome, yeah... totally not worth it. For the majority of the time during the procedures, Kate appeared incredibly uncomfortable, and she also noted strange feelings relating to her self-worth and image. It was quite unsettling.

My verdict? Rubbish. Don't do it.

Now, of course you'll be forgiven for thinking I'm crazy for my following blather, especially considering I'm infamous for my self-improvement schemes (which have included: not eating for two days before the 48Hour final to fit into a pair of jeans, which are, kind of ironically, now too big; drinking up to 5 litres of water a day for the month leading up to an event, with the intention of having flawless skin; sleeping in face masks; not being seen on Skype sans-makeup... you get the picture.) but honestly? A little self-love wouldn't go amiss right here. Work with what you've got, ladies! (and gentlemen, you vain, vain things)

I know I'm biased, but with makeup you can do anything. Email me (mimartiste@gmail.com) if you're really struggling, but in most cases, good quality and purpose-built products can fix your face issues. Usually, they're so not as bad as you think, anyway!

And at the end of the day, I always remember a quote from "The Black Day Book": don't bother taking time on your appearance. No-one notices you anyway.

Peace and love, yo.

I Had NO Idea That Song Was Called "Objection"!

I've spent my life thinking it was "Obsession", which may explain why it took me like, three years to find it on LimeWire.

Yep, I listen to Shakira. I'm still hardcore.

And since the first time I watched the Paparazzi video this morning, I'm fairly certain that I'm responsible for about 300 of the 1.3 million views it's racked up in the last week. Hmm, damn you Sophie!

So there's that, and then there's the Nike LunarTrainer which apparently Shalane Flanagan trains in. Now, I don't believe that for one moment, but I have to admit I want these shoes anyway. Not in the colour displayed on the website, because that is hideous. However, this very pair of shoes was spotted in Platinum Christchurch in the weekend, in a much more agreeable colour. Tempting.

That's Shalane. In case you were wondering.

And here's a particularly artistic portrait of Thom from 48 Hours, courtesy of Luke. I don't think there is such thing as too many photos of Thom posing suggestively.

In the last couple of weeks I've secured contents insurance, mainly so if my bikes get stolen, I don't have to become a stripper to buy new ones. Problem is, now I'm secretly hoping the Safire DOES get stolen, so I can replace it with one of these.


Mmm, yes. That's a 2009 Specialized Era Expert. It's more of a racy model than the Safire, less travel (because, let's be honest, I am so not airborne enough to use the entire 120mm I currently have), and I must say, a cooler colour. People tell me red goes faster, but I'm not convinced. Cabin after all won Karapoti on a green bike, and I'm sure you don't remember that old Nike campaign, "I run faster in my favourite colour". Is blue my favourite colour? Hmm, I'm not sure. Blue nail polish is my not-so-secret one true love, and my blue swimming cap is my most preferred head adornment while swimming. I tend to say yellow is my favourite colour, but to be fair I think that's just because that's what colour jersey you get for winning the Tour de France. And like, does anyone run faster in yellow? Except for Usain Bolt maybe... hey, he might be onto something there.

Wow, okay that was a little more rambly than I'm used to. Point is, who wants a purple bike? Blue is mean. And I want that one! I guess we'll see next year when the 2010 models come out and they're purple, though. Anyway, I will be pretty gutted if you do steal my bike in the time being, so please don't. Thanks...

Speaking of Specialized, I still haven't got that saddle I've been crowing about for the last eighteen months. I'll refrain from posting a photo, because I think I've already put like, 1500 photos up today, but it's a Ruby 143, which is cheaper in Christchurch than it is here. Hmm. I actually hate my current road saddle with the fiery passion of one thousand suns, so it seems to me that it's a fairly pressing issue that I get this one. I'm not even kidding, my current saddle makes me want to die. 

That said, I cannot freakin WAIT to get back on my bikes tomorrow, because I'm pretty much better from my illness. It only took three days of solid laying in bed wanting to die! Yuss. Sure, I'm still certain I'm going to cough up a rib by the end of the night, but that's just the tail end of it.

Final picture, I promise. It's from the recent DH World Cup at Fort William in Scotland, where my countryman Sam Blenkinsop placed 4th (and is 6th overall in the rankings this season. Yeehaw).

And that's it. Kiss my airs, bitches. xoxo

Sophie Gets Her Gaga On

If you're a New Zealand reader, you might have heard of ZM. It's this radio station that broadcasts across both islands and plays gay music that I love (slash hate).
Anyway, they're running this competition at the moment, called "Show Us Your Gaga", in which entrants send in photos of themselves dressed as Lady Gaga.

Longtime readers will remember Sophie's amazing Gaga costume from her 21st. I've just realised that link doesn't actually have any photos of her, but anyway. Her costume was fantastic and so she sent in a photo of herself from the night to the competition. And now she's in the final!

ZM have whittled entries down to 10 finalists, including Sophie, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be a pal and vote for her here. She's finalist number 2, so don't vote for anyone else except number 2! Especially not the guy, because he's Donny's cousin, so he's pretty much the enemy. We love Sophie, not Donny! You can only vote once, but that doesn't mean you can't vote on behalf of your family and friends. So do it!

If Sophie wins, she gets the teacup from the bizarro Paparazzi video. "I know!! Really cool prize!!!" (that's a direct quote).


So guys, vote for Sophie. Eternal love guaranteed!! xoxo

No.

In response to Sugar Shock: No. No, I would not ever go bare-faced.

Sure, I do when I'm training, at the McDonald's Drive-Thru at 3am, and right now, because I'm sick. But other than that, yuk! I don't even go on Skype bare-faced! And I would not, under any circumstances, go bare-faced at red-carpet events, a la Hayden Panetierre. In all honesty, looking at the photo I've been given, she is SO not bare-faced. She's just not all foundation face like usual. Nice try, though.

Congratulations to my favourite, Nic Leary, who has just secured bike sponsorship from Avanti. She has a massively busy few months coming up, which will see her compete all over the map in the US and Canada throughout June, July and August.

I've returned, sickness and all, from a highly uneventful weekend in Christchurch. In three days, I saw Theresa, Sally, Louise (my sister) and Hadleigh. T and I hit up the casino on Saturday in ridiculously short and boobalicious dresses, after Hadleigh and I dined on desserts at Strawberry Fare. Nom nom nom.

However, not impressed with being sick. I never get sick, so when I do, I act like it's the end of the world. I intend to sleep out the rest of the week or until I'm better, which is disappointing because I'm supposed to be racing the N-Duro duathlon this Sunday in Rotorua.

No photos today. I'm sick and grumpy.

It's Old News Now!

And I'm sure you've heard, but some guy named David Bain was just judged not guilty for murdering his five family members in 1994.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, and wonder why murders from 1994 are on trial now, it's because Mr. Bain already served 13 years for an 18 year sentence he was given in 1995 when orginally found guilty. However, he's always maintained his innocence and in 2007 was released on bail due to miscarriage of justice.

And now he's not guilty.

Hmm.

It was a long and at times boring re-trial, and while it sometimes seemed like there was enough evidence to go either way, the jury today decided that Mr. Bain did not kill his family.

I still remember June 1994, when it happened. I was eight years old, and back then no-one seemed to assume anything other than his guilt. It was just, "David Bain killed his family". I do have vivid memories of watching the Bain household burn to the ground on the news - it was set alight by the New Zealand Fire Service. Which was fair enough. As if that place was ever going to sell.

It's an odd case because the evidence isn't particularly compelling for either party, and I dare say whatever evidence there was, was manipulated by both the defense and prosection. There was, for example, a great deal of controversy surrounding the entry wound on Robin Bain's head - was it at close range, or long distance? Was it possible for him to have shot himself using the rifle that caused his death? Of course, the prosecution had three gun experts who said no. The wound was not consistent with suicide, it was from a distance, and as such must have been administered by David. The defense then brought out their own experts, who argued that in fact the wound was caused by a rifle pressed against his head, as per suicide. One even went so far to demonstrate how suicide using a rifle (with a silencer no less) could be undertaken. Disturbing.

Anyway, I guess we can no longer mull over the intricacies of the case, as Mr. Bain is officially innocent.

I'm going to Christchurch tomorrow, where the trial was held. It's going to be bedlam. I cannot wait.

Siamese Dream

In which I won a train ticket from Toronto to Montreal for an as yet unknown reason.

Do you have those dreams where you recall, in excruciating detail, the bits that don't have any real bearing on the dream itself? I do. There was that dream I had, days before I moved to Auckland (and the day before I learnt Donny had skipped off to India) which featured that woman off Medium. As you probably don't recall, she was drugging people. The reason for which was never revealed in my sleep, which just made it all the more annoying. How come I had to lose my teeth? Not happy.

Damn you and your teeth-stealing ways

Last night, I was... somewhere. Possibly in light of Sara's recent winning of a trip to Sydney for herself and Nadia, I won a train ticket from Toronto (which, presumably in my dream was my usual place of domicile) to Montreal, to attend an event of some shape or form. What it was, or why I won, I do not know. But for the remainder of my sleep I was running around in what seemed to be a strange hybrid of Ruakaka and Newmarket.

Uggggh. My brain is so fried.


48Hours wildcard winners were announced last night and I'm very disappointed to report that the Puddle Finishing School was not awarded one. I'm very interested to see how the judging at the national final pans out. For New Zealand readers, you can watch selected films on C4 for the next week or two. Schedule as follows:

Mon 8 - Fri 13 - Random Selection
Mon 15 & Tue 16 - Random Selection
Wed June 17 - City Winners (Ham, Gisb, Dndn)
Thur June 18 - City Winners (Chch, Wgtn, AK)
Fri June 19 - Wildcard Night
Sat June 20 - Grand Final Awards Show.. 
Awards presented, clips shown and Grand Champion 2009 announced and screened.

So it's at 11pm, but come on people. Play the game!! I'm staying up, so I think you should too.

The Good Life

I  just read something interesting on Open Mouth, Insert Fork. "Have you heard the definition of crazy (or insanity)? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?"

*ponders*

Herein lie my problems with Donny, I'm telling you guys.

So now, it's time to try something different. June is officially going sans-Donny. (I haven't talked to him in the first four days, before you ask. So it counts.) It may need to extend throughout July as well, but I will find a new way of going about this and achieving great success.

You'll see.

Speaking of stupid boys, not-so Superhuman-Sam is coming to New Zealand this weekend. Only he didn't tell me. He told my flatmate Sara, and not me, so I'm officially boycotting him. And yes, I realise I don't really have a choice in the matter given that I will be, as I usually am for Sam's visits, in Christchurch. But that's really not the point.

Boo, Sam.

Marco, a well-meaning Canadian, has agreed to buy me the Sephora Brand Professionel Platinum Air Brush #55. Excited much? I know I am. I can't wait to rub that all over my face.

Hahaha, that last sentence seemed like it would be sooo much more at home in amateur porn.

I'm so classy.

Concerned Much?

It's not a laughing matter, but do you think maybe Anna Morris, lawyer for Samantha Orobator, who is on the verge of getting a life sentence in Laos for heroin trafficking, could have used her command of the English language to better express herself in this statement?

"We are of course concerned, given that the prison conditions are well documented, we are concerned for her welfare, and we are concerned for the sort of nutrition she's receiving, but we'll know more once we've seen her.

"But at this point we can certainly say that we're very concerned."

I mean, come on, love. I haven't been to Law School and I could have done better than that.

Job Envy

Since I'm not by any means a jealous bitch, I'd love to congratulate the gorgeous and mega-talented Grace on scoring a job at CHANEL!! Amazing.


You probably know that I love Chanel, and can imagine that I also applied for this position, but I'm not going to lie or be bitter about it - Grace is much more well-suited to the role. If there was ever a modern-day Coco, it's Gracenberg.

She promises me a discount, so mark my words babes, I'm going to be making the most of this!

Grace rules. xo

Brush Envy

Sephora Brand Professionel Platinum Air Brush #55: Face

Okay, scrap everything else I said I want (except the Trek bike. Trek: offer for potential sponsorship still stands). I want THIS!

From Sephora.com:
Sephora Brand Professionnel Platinum Air Brush #55 is the secret to the smoothest foundation finish possible. This essential tool blends as it applies, allowing for a smooth, natural-looking result. Build from light to heavy with ease as you continue application—your results will be perfectly pretty at every level of coverage.

If you're a particularly generous American or Canadian reader and you would like to assist with my getting my perfectly manicured mitts on this brush, please email me at mimartiste@gmail.com. Tim Tams or other "Down Under" fare normally not available stateside in return can be arranged.


In other, less exciting news, I have today discovered it is possible to eat too much sushi. Yes, Luke, it's true!!! It was delicious and all, but I really don't think I'm going to need to eat another bite until Saturday.

Suffer

It's my current state of being.

I would not even notice if my flatmate died. He could have been on that Air France flight the other day and I would have been like "can I move my stuff into his room? I need more space." I'm not even kidding.

However, for whatever reason, he still has not moved out. (Rex asked him to on March 1st. It's now June 3rd.) He is repulsive in every way possible. He can't talk properly. He doesn't shower. He talks on the phone while watching television that's turned up too loud. He also uses his computers (yes, there's two of them) with the sound up as loud as it will go, while watching television. Multi-tasking, you might say? No, no. Just completely obnoxious twat.

I feel inclined to complain about him mercilessly because currently he's in the living room (which is strangely, where I am too), watching Everybody Loves Raymond, which I hate, while talking about his motorbike on the phone. Get out of my life!!!

Yuk. That is all.

The Hills Season Finale

Awww, it's finished.
Congratulations to Spencer and Heidi who finally got married (as Lo said during the ceremony, "third time's a charm, right?". But I have so many problems with the ceremony itself I do not know where to begin!

So, I'll start with the guest list. Why, oh why, Heidi, did you invite Lo? Audrina? Justin Bobby? I mean, come on. Justin BOBBY?! That guy is not only an insignificant tool, but he did not shave or brush his hair for your wedding day. I just wouldn't tolerate that sort of disrespect if I had a massive fancy wedding like yours. He looked like a mountain lion, and it was fairly obvious he was only there to draw attention to himself. Yuk.
Have you EVER been friends with Lo? To be honest I don't really know why anyone is, because she's a vindictive and passive little brat, but I'm soooo confused as to why she was there.
Um, and Kristin Cavallari. WTF were you thinking? She tried to make your wedding day about her. Did you not see her, carrying on like she was a celebrity? Yuk.
Now, I'm sure she was not invited, but did you not just want to punch someone in the face when Stacie turned up? I can't believe the audacity of it. It's kind of testament to the company that your husband Spencer keeps that she is now dating one of his friends, but you would think... your wedding day? Good Lord.

I think a dress code may have been nice. Jayde, Brody's girlfriend, wore what looked like a yellow negligee, which I did not think was wedding appropriate attire. At all. And there were a few other notably short numbers. Okay, I get that the wedding was in Pasadena, and Pasadena is warm, but it's still a wedding! I have a feeling, Heidi, that you are going to look back in a few years and wish you'd told your friends to cover their butts.

And, not that we needed further proof that Stephanie Pratt is in fact the stupidest bitch on the face of the planet, but did the whole, Maid of Honour fiasco not seal this fact into our minds forever? She was simply awful, and behaved like a child when Heidi chose her sister to be Maid of Honour, and for the rest of the show (including at the rehearsal dinner! Have you no shame, Stephanie?!) she took not-so-secret glee in Holly's mistakes, and even went so far as to insult Heidi's choice of jewelery on her wedding day. Wow, grow up. I wouldn't care who she was, I would not have that girl in my bridal party. Yuk.

That's about it in terms of things I hated about the Speidi Wedding. I thought it was cute how Heidi's dad wore his stetson to walk her down the aisle... this guy is cowboy hard. Wasn't a huge fan of Heidi's dress, but meh, she liked it. LOVED how Lauren came. Awww. I love Lauren.

That cake is like, the same size as me.

Rumour has it that Kristin will become a regular on the show now. Yuk! I dislike Kristin and her weird mouth. Sooo as far as I'm concerned, The Hills is finished forever. *sob*

What will I do?!

T-Dawg Turns Twenty-One!

I cannot believe that Theresa is 21 today!!! Ahhhh. Love.

It's becoming increasing difficult to find photos of her without a bottle of alcohol in her hand (hmm, T!!) but here are two of my favourites.

Anyway, I'm super stoked for her today and soo proud to call her my friend, so happy birthday Theresa!! xo

I Would Have Called A Tie

Congratulations to Andrea Hewitt, who won Race Two of the ITU World Cup in Madrid yesterday. Although, I'm not convinced.


This is one of many photos taken at the finish. It took five hours of deliberations by judges and officials to deem lil Hewitt the winner. Apparently, it came down to millimetres. Like, come on. Did they not both come first? You know, despite what they'd have you believe, ties do happen. Example: at last year's Paralympics in Beijing, Sophie Pascoe and Shireen Sapiro dead-heated for the gold medal in the women's S10 100m backstroke. They also shared the world record, until Soph rebroke it earlier this year. And four years before that Daniel Clausner and Andrey Strokin tied for gold in the SB13 100m breaststroke.

I'd like to allude to the fact here that Milorad Cavic and Michael Phelps dead-heated in the 100m butterfly in Beijing too, but we all know that Michael "won", according to the results, which took suspiciously longer than normal to appear.

Triathlon is slightly different to swimming. You're out there, kicking your own ass for about two hours. It's hot, it's hard, and the last thing you want is to finish at the same time as someone else and be told you came second. I get the feeling a certain Lisa Norden will be running up a storm in DC, or her next race. The DC race is June 21, for the record. I can't wait.

Welcome To The World

It's June!

Which means I have to decide on a new thing to give up for the month. Suggestions?
I was going to go with chicken burgers, but I've decided I'll do that in July (and no, it's not because I still think Donny is going to show up with one and confess his love for me. Although that would be nice, so I think you should do it.) which leaves June wide open in terms of vices: there's chocolate (which I'm starting to get over, anyway), Starbucks Frappuccinos, Twitter, french fries...

So... thoughts? It's kind of a hard one because whatever I decide to stop eating/doing means I can't do it in Christchurch next weekend. And when I'm in Christchurch, eating is pretty much all I do.

What's happening this month, anyway?

Today it's Queen's Birthday holiday, which means life goes on as normal for me, because I'm unemployed. Hooray. It's also, weirdly, the close of special circumstances applications for ITU Worlds, so hopefully by the end of this week I'll have some good news about that!

Tomorrow is Theresa's 21st birthday! I can't believe it. I remember when she turned 13. Congrats!!! Her party is a month away, and I can't wait.

Next weekend, for whatever reason, I'm going to Christchurch. I think this is because my mum felt sorry for me when I couldn't afford a $699 airfare to Tokyo while they were on sale on Grabaseat a few weeks ago. I'm still bitter about that. But anyway, she bought me a flight to Christchurch instead. Which, if you've been there you will agree... is not quite the same.

June 7th is XTERRA Trail Running Series Race Two at Hunua, which I would do if I wasn't in Christchurch!

The following week is an event in Rotorua I only found out about this morning but I'm now seriously considering - the N-Duro Winter MTB/Duathlon Race One. The duathlon (5km run / 20km MTB / 5km run) is tempting, and the bike course runs over a couple of my favourite trails (including the A-Trail, where I last year famously decided to ride sans brakes and ended up with two black eyes and a dislocated wrist). After my success in running yesterday, I'm feeling pretty happy about my form going into this event so I'll keep y'all posted.

Also in Rotorua, two weeks later, is a trail run which I might do, depending on finances.

And, ooh it's a doozie, the USA Track and Field 2009 Outdoor Championships in Eugene!! This event is to be held June 25-28, and I'm soooo jealous that old Hoyts pal, Scott, is now Eugene-based. Ah, Hayward Field... the holy ground of track. Worlds are in Berlin, August 15-23. Ahhh so excited. I love that winter here means summer elsewhere, so I can stalk track results and statistics all year round.

Kara Goucher: favourite American

That about wraps June up, although I'm almost certain it won't go as smoothly as it does on paper. That said, I'm hoping to see a lot less of Hamilton (and as such, Donny) this month, so that cancels out a BIT of drama. Yay.

More later, yo. I want some sushi.