This is only going to end badly

In an hour, me and Chris are going cycling.

Now, when I go on about my cycling and bike obsession, you may be tempted to think that I'm actually good at cycling. I'm not. Chris is going to find this out very quickly and probably won't be calling me again. Eek!

On the other hand, I might as well look good while I'm doing it, so I bought some waterproof mascara (in brown, due to a lack of concentration on my part, but never mind) and have repainted my nails that got chipped while cleaning the coffee machine at work last night.

I'm tossing up between two jerseys to wear - my red Specialized one (it's red...) or my pink Slipstream one. There's pros and cons on both sides.

Specialized cons: umm, it's Specialized and unless you work at AvantiPlus Cycles, you're guaranteed to hate Specialized... it's a bit tight... it makes my boobs look huge...
Specialized pros: it's red, and I'm convinced wearing red is going to get me laid.

Slipstream cons: I'm going to look a bit retarded if I wear a Slipstream jersey with my helmet, because they match... it makes me look more professional than I am...
Slipstream pros: it fits perfectly, and zips all the way down for easy removal. You know, just in case.

What should I do? Actually, I'm a little dubious about wearing any kind of jersey just in case he rocks up in a tshirt and I look like a noob.

Maybe I'll just text him and say I got sick...