FB: indian tales

crying over spilt chipatis... and other Indian tales

13 November 2008 at 18:03


So I guess it's been a while since I published a note. This is because everything I've written lately has been bullshit. I did publish and then subsequently delete one, after my short-lived stint as a postie. What a nightmare that was.
Honestly, I wrote about how being a postie was everything I'd dreamed of. Obviously, this was one of those dreams where you wake up screaming and in a cold sweat. That was what being a postie was like for me.

Maybe my bad dream last night was a precursor to the shitter of a day I had today. Yeah, I'm excited and incredibly grateful to be moving this Saturday, and I guess I've been told time and again that before things get good they get shit. But this shit? Seriously? Here I was thinking I banked a lot of good karma by driving Kirby's ass around the place, letting people in at intersections and on the motorway, and by putting up with people I think are stupid. Not so, it appears.

In my (incredibly odd, for the record) dream last night, there was some woman (the woman off that show Medium, if anyone watches it. I don't, but I know what she looks like because I prefer ads to actual TV. Anyway) who was drugging people into following her rule. Or something. All I know was, I was covered in some sort of powder, then given an injection. IN THE GUMS. I'm not even kidding. I had a dream where I was drugged via GUM INJECTION.

So that was nice, until my teeth started feeling loose. Like, you know when you were little and you got like, a loose tooth? That's what it was like. I tried to call my friend, we'll call him "Donny" even though EVERYONE who reads this will know who I'm referring to. If it helps, I can tell you that even in my drugged state, I could still dial his number and call him. He was drunk (what a surprise) but told me he'd come to find - and as such, save - me. Then one of my teeth fell out in my hand. By the time I found him, my teeth were spilling out everywhere and I was crying. Mainly because I know that in real life, Donny and I really love teeth. Freaks much? Anyway. So that was pretty much how my dream ended. Me toothless, with my teeth in my hands, and Donny being drunk. Dreams imitate life, apparently.

Then I woke up.

Given that I'm moving on Saturday and it's now Thursday, I thought it a good time to go and say goodbye to Rena and her daughter Holly. I figured that given that she lives in the same neighbourhood as the real-life Donny, I would double and go see him too. Bear in mind that Donny and I have mostly avoided eachother in the light of day recently.

So when I found myself on what I thought what was his doorstep (I'm still not sure, because I'm usually drunk, stoned, or both - and it's usually pitch black when I arrive) I felt a little confused as to why he wasn't there. Instead, I thought I would go to his work and find him. He wasn't there either. This is because he is in India. INDIA.

Donny's in India, and I'm standing in the lobby at his work with tears half-streaming down my face, wondering how it could be possible that he's in India and I don't know. Anyone who knows me - and let's be honest, I'm pretty open about the inner workings of my brain - will know how I then came to the conclusion that Donny is getting married.

Granted, he's probably not, but this was enough to send me into hysterics for the rest of my drive home. And you can just imagine how it went down when I tried to explain to my mom why my mascara was on my cheeks.

I thought a good way to spend the rest of my grim day would be to drink all the alcohol in the house. And I was pretty close, but then my mom thought we should go buy some new stuff for my new house. I obliged, not before putting a greenstone pendant in my pocket which I intended to buy a new string for. If you're from New Zealand, you'll know that a greenstone pendant is a pounamu, and something you can't just replace if you, for example, drop it on the floor at The Warehouse and it smashes. So you can imagine my absolute horror when I dropped my pendant on the floor at The Warehouse. You thought hearing Donny was in India was bad? Wait til you drop your pounamu.

I was too horrified - literally I couldn't move - to pick it up, so my mom did, not knowing why I was crying so much. "Oh, shit" said a Warehouse staff member behind us. "and you can't get them fixed, either."

Thanks, lady.

My mom bought me a bunch of stuff, probably just because by now she realised what a hopeless wreck I was. I don't know though. You can't just reverse the sadness of knowing your One is out in India getting married and your broken pendant by buying a "utility cabinet".

Onto a more trivial matter, was the lunch I had at about 3pm with Kirby. Neither of us had eaten all day (former elite athletes, you'd never guess). I took a gamble on a piece of "spicy chicken" sushi. Man, I really shouldn't have.

"Today is really not your day, huh?" she said, trying not to laugh as spat my lunch out onto my plate.

Kirby was right. Fingers crossed that tomorrow when I wake up, I'll still have teeth... and maybe, just maybe this whole Donny thing will have gone away.