Hello. Goodbye.

I frequently abuse my body with such "treats" as candy, carbonated beverages, sleep, lack of sleep, aioli and more candy. Right now, for example, it's 9:23am and I'm more than halfway through a 500mL can of V (Red Bull for those who don't live on my atoll) and an apricot/chocolate cookie.

Zoom, zoom, zoom.

I didn't even want the cookie!

It's just that I'm so, so vain that I refuse to drink V without first gunking my teeth with a layer of plaque so the pantothenic acid doesn't leave me with root stumps. (Is that what they're called, Jess? Root stumps?) I mean, eventually it's going to happen because I just drink so much V that eventually my teeth are going to stage a coup, but you know, until then I want my bases covered.

By sugary, salty cookie plaque apparently.

As for sleep, well, I feel like sleep is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, sleep is great for me, and apparently I should aim for seven hours a night. But I hear sleep has conditions too - I have to get two of those seven hours between 2am and 4am, and if I sleep longer than seven hours, I'm at risk of a host of medical conditions. But at the same time, if I get less than seven hours, I'm still at risk! Of different things of course, the main threat being dark circles under my eyes (this seems more debilitating to me than something like cancer), but I mean, what?
How is it possible for me to get bang on seven hours? And sometimes, you know what, I can't sleep between 2am and 4am. Sometimes being on Wikipedia at 3am is just too good to pass up.

And this is how I abuse myself with sleep. It's a rare day (or night, as the case usually is) that I get seven hours sleep. Often, I get like, two. But then just as often, I'll get ten. Ahhh, what a conundrum!

Urgh. I've finished my V.